I have learned so much its hard to think I can digest all of it. Like stuffing too much in your mouth, and it being so delicious you don't want to just chew and swallow to allow for more room, you want to savor and enjoy every bit of flavor that burst between your lips.
That is how I am finding life here. Its been a slow process, but I'm starting to awaken. The more I fought the more I learned what was being given to me was what was really worth fighting for. I don't have the whole of its concept..Slavery...but the gift of this life has been on adventure after another. The slaves here are far more brazen and bold then bonds back home. They work harder and are not only in submission of the collar as they are of nature and all the beast that roam its lands. I have learned so much between being able to tell the age of bosk chips before touching the density of texture or warmth at my hands to knowing how to store milk when no ice is around, or digging holes under wagons facing the east as its ground was much cooler in the shadows to make a cooling pit. I have learned how to make butter, cheese and roast meats so tender over open fires. I have learned to mix dry grass, dirt, clay and water into molded squares to make a hearth that will bake breads and treats, slow cooked meats and such to be enjoyed until it melts back into the ground at the next rain. I have gotten praise for my breads, the only thing I came with vast knowledge of making from the North. How I can twist dough, brush it with spiced or seasoned butters, fill it with warm meats or jellies, all the things Blushes use to show me as a child. I have enjoyed sewing designs for many along hems and tunics, thin leather and reins. I have watched and learned yearning...seeing the light in Catch's face when she is around His wagon. I see this look on many slaves when "The One" is close to them. Even Mistresses. I want that.
My other amazement came at our move towards something celebrated called the Love Wars. From what Yasmine told me, its the only time we will be so close to the Turians and there be peace in the act of battle. This was amazing to me. Everything. Women at the stakes, men ready to fight at the hands of possible death over beauty and honor. Women were a mere prize to what was really being battled for. Show of pride and strength against those who are sworn foes of culture. I was excited. I wondered if Master would bring us a Turian woman to get to help carry dung. I walked at the side of the wagons that moved to make camp close to the stakes of the games. It was amazing the way the wagons move and Yasmine laughed saying I haven't seen anything yet. Wait till the cold season comes and we go back North.
Go back North.
For some reason, that didn't sit well with me. This War of Slavery I was just finally winning was going to bring me closer to the place I was before? Would I be ready? I watched my shadow as I walked with the wagons that rolled by the pull of bosk beside me. This collared girl called simply Red, was different from the first time she stumbled into camp. She was stronger, had more form to her shape, her hair was longer, her skin was tighter, she smelled different, as she had found a wonderful combination of honeysuckle oil and sandalwood to mix in her creamed skin oil. It was a smoothing silky smell, not strong, but very light and feminine.
I found myself watching Him from the distance, for He made me unsure of myself. My feelings. I didn't understand them. I didn't know how to understand them. I could spend days on end with Yasmine who taught me the best ways to carry water in masses without to many blisters, and had races to pluck vulos in the afternoon. Yasmine would tease me about the pearls I won from her, saying one day she would get them back from me. Its strange, though I keep to my own chores and world lately I found another emotion starting to emerge. Jealousy. What an ugly thing it is. I am jealous of Catch and Dee, though me and Yasmine are friends, we have more in common, she doesn't bring that elegance feel of being tucked into kindness and joy like Catch brings me. A safe warmth. Dee was taking all that to herself. Damn her.
I heard the sounds of girls cheering in the distance. Warriors were practicing, joking around and talking of who would bring the prettiest Turian back.
I ran to join the others to watch and cheer.
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