Seeing through new eyes

After the morning dung and washing up, Catch went to do chores after we spoke a bit on one of these girls that offered to teach us how to make oils for many purposes. I was thrilled by the thought of it. I can't remember her name, but she said her Master sent her to teach five girls her craft, before she would be allowed to eat from His fingers again. She was from some place called the Tahari. Now I have heard a couple stories of the place that had sand, and spices one would only dream about. She had rich dark skin that reminded me of chocolate melted in warmed bosk milk, and eyes of brown and flecks of gold. Her hair was thick and curly, long past the back of her thighs. She seemed happy to have two slaves for the price of one stop to teach.

I started to clean out His slave wagon we slept in. I figured while the carpets and furs were airing out I would do my day two of leather collection and boot cleaning of the wagons the Mistress sent me to clean. Before we retired for the night, the evening before, I did tell Catch about having to touch Master Tao. She said she would help me with this great Touch to measure but don't let Him know its measuring, just touching, cause though He don't like measuring She was sure He would be all down for the touching. I just didn't get it all, but hey, no one said the life of a Slave was going to easy or that Free made sense. I started to feel ashamed for my past Freedom. So we had our touching mission, and I had a few chores. Catch let me help her with a roast the other day, it was wonderful. The thought of it still danced around in my mind as I was starting to pick up more with simple cooking and couldn't way to start working on spices. I was at the stream when Yasmine came up. She was all smiles, and wearing a pretty necklace of beads down her body. I wanted beads. They were gifts from her Master, cause He was pleased at a raid He was on. Of course Yasmine said He brought back a plump girl that use to be a kitchen Mistress, who was pleasing Him to no end with her dishes, but she got this string of pearls, real pearls she added, from the Thassa. They were beautiful. I wanted pearls. She was just in this delightful mood, and it made me happy also. She helped me finish the washing cause she wanted me to go with her near the herds. This made me feel a hint of fear surge through my body as I hadn't gone far honestly beyond dung, wagons, and stream. She was telling me to calm down as we hung the leathers to dry. There was less today as I did the bulk the day before and doing this everyday would keep things under control. She showed me how to tilt the boots a certain way to make them set and dry quicker also. Taking two buckets, she handed me one and said lets go out and look for fat grub worms that lift up near bosk dung for fishing. Now honestly digging under fresh dung didn't sound very fun to me, though fishing sounded great! I didn't know how much I missed it until she said it. So armed with bucket in hand, we started our journey.

It was amazing, the walk. She stopped me suddenly and told me to hold still. With the work of her fingers and the belted strap of my ebony shift, she made it into an entire new design! I felt so pretty though my bruises were still marked on my skin but lightening up a bit. We hadn't even started to dig up the worms when she motioned me over to watch riders starting to change out guards by the herds. She teased me and said I was to afraid to see if I could catch the eye of any of them. All I could do was huff and take her up on the challenge. She said lets wager. Wager? I had nothing to give.

Sure I did....She said.

So with that, I wagered my ebony shift and she...her pearls. The winner would be the one with the most glances by the Warriors riding in. We could use any means. Waving calling, flashing. Which I didn't do! She stood at one side of those riding in, and I at the other. It was fun to jump up and down, blowing kisses, waving, and hearing those make little comments to us, and grin saying they would be back later.

All that really mattered honestly was.....I WON!

So I had some pearls. I had also, a lot of fun as we laughed and dug up our grub worms. Washed up at the stream filling the buckets with a bit of dirt, as she promised to take me fishing tomorrow morning after dung duties.

I felt, fun. Excited, and pretty. Men looked at me, and I liked it. So strange...the feelings everyday brought. I could see, why Yasmine was smiling. It was nice, to be....wanted.

Family?

My fingers felt like dried ta grapes by the time I was finished. I was happy to find Catch by the stream. There was a small gathering of Free, and He was there. Catch wasn't there, so jit see, jit do, and I found my way beside her. She smiled and it forced me to let my own just reflect back to her. I watched her by the water, and drank from the feel of her. I saw Him over there, its been the first time in a long time since I have seen Him. Like a Warrior from the stories of my past I was starting to think more of Him in my mind. Nothing I had been willing to accept..yet. Nothing I was willing to openly say I have let cross my thoughts. Catch kept Him a wonderful and alive story with the emotions that sprinkled like the warm summer rain across my skin with any simple mention of Him. I wanted a bit of that feeling. I wanted to rejoice and embrace that happiness that was as sweet and smooth as verr milk across thirsty craving lips.

I asked her...why she, we, were not by Him. The Bond's of home were bold and brazen enough to always be next to their Jarl's. Even at meals they would sit beside the men, with drapes of thrill and happiness at meals. Her Warrior was over there, and she was here. I didn't...get it. I wanted to go over there, but since my guiding light was here, it had to be the right thing to do. I wasn't even sure why I wanted to be there. I wanted to yell and scream at Him for making me a slave and leaving me to learn my slavery without His hand. I wanted to demand I be allowed back on my chain, where I was safe and I could learn His will. I wanted to tell Him I wanted to feel like Catch so fucking wave His hand and do whatever magic He done worked over on her! I wanted to see, if He would even speak to me. I wanted to try again, now. Now I wasn't so angry, but then again I was angry cause He wasn't there. Go figure. I was confused once more. I wanted to know, I wanted...His knowledge. So I told Catch we had to find out where we are suppose to be near Him. She took the brave step forward. I thought her a very beautiful shield. I knelt by Him, but not in the way of Catch. I almost wanted to reach out and hold her hand. Instead I got consumed by people not seeing my face. I totally missed what we had set out to do. I didn't snap my attention to hear and now, until He called me over. Oh sure, call me over while I'm ugly. It took a few tries, and I was twisting my hair back showing the lines of scratches across my neck, chest and shoulders, and the spotted bruises now at their glory of deep purple, blue and stains of brown considering to lighten to a gross sticky looking yellow that would be called a healing fade. For a moment, I wished for a nice touch, like I got this morning. I wished it from His hand. I got nothing. He had to go, and I just sunk back into the warmth of breathing in Catch again as people commented about the hues of my face in passing.

I was happy for our escape back towards the wagons. We were a bit naughty, I would like to say I made Catch a bit naughty, telling her stories about my Sister, as I showed how we use to sit, face to face, with our legs entwined at night, outside, watching the stars. For if we sat like that, there was no stars that would miss our vision. It was dark, we should be in the wagon, but I wanted this moment of grass blanket around our legs and the warmth of her, and me, watching the blessings of eternity above us. I shared about how Big Red use to say my freckles were burned marks of the stars along my flesh so that I would never be without them. It was so nice to share, before we had to go back. I liked this feeling of family. My new family. I had comfort with her. Perhaps not a sister of flesh like Big Red, but one of my soul. The part of my heart that beat with Big Red's in a special bind of twin love and connection, that stopped with her death, felt like it was warming up again. I was afraid to share this with Catch, cause I still wasn't sure of my fate. I couldn't survive if I was to lose another sister.

I wanted this...this family, now. This feeling and fate was nothing I ever heard in the story books read to me.

Finding..purpose

Everyday makes me feel a bit more alive. Another breath drawn to tell me, that I shall find comfort in the path I am walking soon. Its lifted stones that make my feet hurt as I try to avoid them with uncertainty is starting to spill to knowing to step flat on the smooth surface instead of catching the sides makes motions a lot more pleasing. Even if I am feeling ugly.

Perhaps that ass beating knocked a bit more sense into me. Or it just reminded me, that ouch, duck dumbass next time. Right now, I was feeling a little shame over the stains of dark colors that speckled my skin making more of a bold statement then the freckles that would even challenge the stars in numbers across my flesh. Each bruised blotch had a few scratched lines here and there with them. I was embarrassed to have people look at me. I took a long bit of rope I found, tying knots in it. From the spaces between the knots I started to work the straps of the bota's there after the line of empty bota's was tossed out into the stream, and I watched it bobble just a bit, until they started to sink half way as the water filled the depths. I found when I wrapped the cord of the rope's end coiled around my ankle...I enjoyed the feel. I felt myself blush at the flash of chains, that perhaps were the gift Catch told me about. She was very wise. I felt captured there, and it was a safe feeling. Now I feel at odds with the world and only finding a wagon to run back to, a little hint of lonely need for Catch to finish her chores and return in the evenings. Then it was a beating heart of dance to watch the flaps of the wagon to see if He would return. If I didn't have Catch who gave me a hand of guidance, I think I would have lost my will to continue. These were all...new and scary thoughts as I watched the rise and fall of each ripple of waves slap around the bota's, and make the bind of rope tighter. So wonderfully so. In the water, the bells muffled their chimes. I had a loose weave basket with me, with some more leathers. I was going to dip them in the water and let any look stain drift away before I started to work on this batch of leather that Catch's friend, Dee was nice enough to leave for me once more. I had asked, for I wanted to learn how to work swiftly with my stitching in the thicker more durable material. Every time I moved a bit, I felt the rub of rope circle my moist ankle and it caused the pleasurable feel of tingles that seemed to work its way up my thighs, between them at the folds of meeting before a nice dance across my spine.

I was leaning down looking for a few smoothed edge stones to place against my upper cheeks to try to soothe the burned throb of burning that was there form the bruises. A voice cut the thick wall of self thoughts with a slight bit of startle to me. I looked over and there was a Mistress there, I think I was a bit thrown off with a sudden thought of Her just materializing before me with baskets in hand, and braided hair moving slightly with the breeze. Perhaps like the story of the Mamba man with great powers that would form together like the clouds to haunt daring Freewomen thinking of running to the Schendi forest to disobey Fathers. He would show visions of horrid deaths, and scars of mutation that would make her not even worthy to keep around. Moral of that story was, there is a reason rules and ways are set. To be obeyed for our greater good even if we don't fully understand them. Interesting...a bit like slavery. Obey. Obey. Obey. I felt the Mistress looking at me, when I dropped the stone suddenly and tried to cloak the thick of red along my features as they spilled across my shoulders and the lifted shift of ebony I was wearing.

The Mistress was kind. Speaking to me. I was feeling unsure when She touched my face gently and talked of art and decoration. It was hard for me to see art, when I saw shame and anger. Fear and sorrow. She made it sound beautiful. We spoke of my thoughts and how I could win next time. To think before I attack. To learn, power in knowledge. I liked Her voice as She spoke. She had a warm scent of fresh cut grass and the cool scent of plains flowers in the mist of streams breeze. It was a refreshing aroma to Her as She talked to me. She allowed me to help Her wash as I was letting the bota's dangle. She asked me about the leathers, I was wrong with my story,but it was a good story to me! The leathers belonged to a drummer. I was puzzled about drumming. She explained it to me. We tended to have more wind bound instruments in the North. Flutes that lifted in the air to hand held Kaska were common. There was a huge leather bound drum on ships to keep paces of rowers. She told me to drummers being powerful enough to send messages all the way across the wagons. I was amazed at the thought. Would it be like a blacksmith at a forge hitting steel forming long heavy but thin bladed swords? I was curious to see. She taught me to see, beyond my basic sight. I was astonished to learn, this other level of life from looking at basic leather. She showed me the worked creases of the leathers that told me of His drums. How the edge would sit on the same spot as He played. I couldn't wait to see the depths of the other leathers. I would get a chance, when She gave me a task. Me...a task! I was thrilled! So far Catch had been my guiding light in the darkness of my life. The Mistress went to the wagons, and I finished filling up the bota's. Mistress had explained what the wagons would look like. Carrying the bota's back to the wagons, I did some looking around. The outside of His wagon, was, dark. The picture would have been scary, if I hadn't seen blood of battles my whole life. My Father wasn't just a Farmer, He loved the battles at sea. Raids, and wilds of men. We got more Bonds that way. Cheaper to pull the plows then making the bosk suffer.

I was scared walking in the wagons. The three Masters wagons I was given the task of. I was scared. I would look around each quickly while I filled a basket with leathers, tunics and wool loin cloths, socks, and put boots right on top. I did each wagon separate. Wagon one, was Master Pacu's. I took His clothing I collected from the fur carpets and washed them by the stream. I looked over His leathers, to see if anything would give me a tell tale sign of His clan. I could smell the hint of strong sleen at the bottoms of them. Perhaps he was a tracker of some sort. There were small hints of dyed feathers on His sleeves from arrows. That and the smudges at the end of tunic hems from replacing them and dye going on His finger tips He would wipe off with the mixture of glue. I had to soak those with a scrub of rep cloth to get the glue out of the weave and dye from the surface. A hunter of sorts maybe. I don't know. I was just learning about the Clans around here. I carried His back and hung them on drying racks. Next I went to the wagon of the Drummer, Master Tao. Collecting the clothing, and placing a pair of boots on the top. Now the boots were a bit harder to clean. I used a stick of dried stream reed to work out the lowered ridges of the bottom of the boots. Dirt, rocks, and dung. Then it was cleaning the leather, and working the leather lacings. I would rub oil into them, and a bit of hued bosk grease to polish up the surface. Once number two was done, I walked the wet clothing and finished boots, I would fold the clothing that was dried, and rubbing oil on my palms I worked it into the leather pants to keep them soft and flexible. Placing all the clothing on top of a trunk for I didn't know where to put it away at, as I didn't want to go searching through His wagon. It could use a woman's touch in cleaning and adding a bit of...flare. I went out to hang up Master Tao's clothing on the drying racks, setting his boots against entrance of the wagon to let the grease set. Wagon number three. Master Pei's. Doing the same process, His leathers were about the same as Master Pacu. Different color stains and the sleen smell was a bit sharper.

I saw this Master walking across the stream when I remembered...the other task. Odin help me. How was I going to finish that one?

Not Feeling Very Pretty

Struggling thought the feelings under breast,
Afraid of reality that continue the quest,
I look into glassed watery truth,
Waves ripple my skins soot.











Shredded flesh in hued stains of blackened fear,
Egg shell confidence that crumbed under fist,
Dusted trust of self in ashes lift dance,
Still I weep for bricks of built insecurity.












Tears of acidic burned paths drawn,
Thorn 'd heart beats seep free,
Fisted gape of chested wall,
Hollow pieces stitched with ache.













Chains of barbed hooks tug the edge of mouth,
Based as throbbing flesh anchors bout,
Looking past the canvas of bruised pain,
Knowing someday to give back the same.

Lets get ready to.....Rummmmmble!!!!

Morning came and I found myself in the wagon, fingers wrapped around one of the chains, and Catch saying it was time to get the dung. Damn how can she be so happy in the morning? I was never fully a morning person beyond just watching the lift of Lar Torvis. Then I would go back to bed. I told myself..today I would venture out. Today I would ask Catch if I could help her with anything. Today I would find that slave and introduce myself. Yes, I had big plans for today!

I just took a piece of warmed bread and gathered the dung sacks. I was so ready! Today was going to be a good day, yes. I wasn't going to be afraid, I wasn't going to let anyone keep me from finding some joy. From learning my new life. Yes...today today today.

I must have been feeling brave, cause when we reached the fields disheveled strands of grass and land by the night of bosk herds across them I didn't even try to follow Catch. I was going to be a bit more independent. I walked out, mostly looking for the slave that cut my outfit, yet trying to still keep Catch in sight, cause I wasn't feeling....that brave. I picked up chips and saw something run across the ground causing a few slaves to jump back and move out of its way. For a moment my heart jumped thinking Alvis! But the closer I got to see it, it was nothing but one of the hugest urts I have ever seen! So I backed up also, and lost my sight on Catch. It was still a bit dim out and there were so many slaves, I got a bit worried. I was telling myself to claim down, no worries, I would find her. Just fill the bags. I had just finished the first one, when I put it down to bind the top, and a foot snapped out causing it to fall over and half my chips to spill back to the ground. I gasped, and felt anger rise up when I turned to see who would dare do such a horrible thing!

My luck, it would be Honey standing there, with two other girls beside her with hands on their hips. Now, it didn't surprise me at all from the frame of the two beside her, they had to come from the North. Bonds bred big and hearty there. Be in control Red...be in control, show no fear in the face of a snow sleen. Cause that was the way I was seeing her right now.

"Just leave me alone Honey, I have no time for you"

I was proud of myself as my voice didn't show how un eased I really was. She said she was surprised I was still alive, but not shocked to see my bells. Showing her own ankle to show it was bare. She went on to say it means I was not trusted and pretty worthless. Pity I couldn't take the switch to her, she taunted, and from the look of the other two beside her, she must have told them I beat her all the time or something. They clearly had a dislike for a Nothern Mistress's fury. I felt a dread come over me again. I tried to keep my eyes on Honey who was now pacing me like I was her prey. I kept telling myself in my head, she was just trying to scare me. That was all. Just trying to scare...Oh shit! She jumped on me, going right for my hair with both hands! She got a good grip but it left me the one benefit. I let a small fist go right for her nose! The fact I hit her in the face seemed to shock her. Did she not remember the fights me and Von got into over stupid things..like the last beet in the garden, or even the last bit of rope to bind the other in the tree with, once we saw who lost the wager to climbing the stone wall fence the fastest? She released one hand and the lost of balance caused me to stumble back, as she let a fist find my cheek and it felt like it exploded! We were hitting and scratching, rolling around stumbling up and just when I thought I had her, letting my nails sink into her neck as I was ready to let a fist go right for her face again, the other two jumped in.

Now, I have never gotten such a true ass beating in my life, as I got then. I might be going down, but I was going down with a fight. My legs were kicking and my fist flying, I was wanting to pull any hair tangled in my fingers and scratch at any flesh that found my nails. They had me pretty much pinned to the ground just trying to fight off hovering bodies. Suddenly there was a loud sound of someone yelling and pulling the girls off of me. It was that slave from yesterday telling them to be ashamed of three on one. I didn't even wait to thank her, agree with her, or anything. I got up and took off running. I was hurting, embarrassed, and I couldn't find Catch! I just ran all the way to the stream, cause if not anything else, one couldn't NOT find the stream. I knew the girls would still be working for a bit, and I needed to feel safe, and I knew I wouldn't be able to find His wagons, so..the stream it was.

I wasn't there long, I had just walked in with my cloth on and everything. Washing my face that felt bruised and cut. My arms were sore and scratched, my chest and neck. I am in so much pain. I washed up, tossing my cloth on the grass to dry as I let the cool waters sooth my aching flesh. I cried some, wanted to go home, wanted to hide in the wagon, wanted someone to hold me and tell me it was okay! I was sniffling trying to gather up my pride when I looked over and saw the nameless slave watching me. She spoke to me sternly.

"You know you left your sacks there right? Unfilled"

"Yes I know, in case you didn't notice, it seems something came up"

"I think you should get out of that water, enough self pity has been soaked away, go and finish your work"

"How can I go back? They will attack me again!"

"Would you rather your Master find out your not doing your work. Which beating to you think will be worse?"

I didn't like...she had a point.

"I am embarrassed. I can't believe I just ran off like that. Do you know Catch? I really wish she was here"

"Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you. You will not live long here. The only one that matters is the one who put that collar on you"

"But I don't know that man, he was sent to collar me and unchain me by my Master"

She gave a grumble and reached her hand out to help me out of the water.

"You know what I mean. No matter what someone does to you, puts on you, tells you, it shall always be...just Him. Learn that, accept that, and you will see life will be so much better. Now go get your chores done, leave your clothing here to dry and you can get it when you come to wash up again"

"Thank you...He calls me...Red"

"Your welcome, and I am called Yasmine. I was once where you are now. I hurt, I struggled. But I am free and happy beyond words in my collar. Even when I ended up here, it was a source of new joy. Enjoy it. Embrace it, and damn, that is nice shiner you have"

She laughed and started towards the wagons, and I started towards the fields once more, I kept my head high, though it throbbed, and I was walking around naked to find my sacks. They were where I left them, but filled. One of the slaves leaving said she knew where my Master's wagons were. I was thankful, she told me to follow the line of blue edged wagons to the ones with red canvases and I should see the wagons of His by the ones with the yellow spoke wheels behind His.

There I went, it took me a while to get on the right track, but I found them. I hung up the sacks, and started towards the stream again, remembering, blue edges, red canvases, yellow spokes. I finished washing up, dressed, and went to get the bota's I had finished to fill, gather up buckets to fill, anything I could fill with water I would find and do so. So I could learn the way back to His wagons with ease.

Home sweet home

I was happy to run up the steps to into the wagon. Like playing tag with Von as kids, it was the place I suddenly felt once I touched, I was safe. I must have forgotten to breath as I suckled a deep breath of warm air once I walked in. I made sure the flap was very secure and closed. I walked in, as if for the first time and saw it really was huge. These wagons were at least twice the size of the wagons we had been traveling with from the North. I wondered how many bosk it would take to pull them. I found the spot I had made mine the day before, tossing the dry cloth on the pile of bota's I had to finish. I just wanted to lay down for a moment. I wanted to wrap the blankets around me and say...safe, safe, safe, safe! Stretching out my foot I felt a chain at it, that caused a shiver to tingle its way along my leg until it gave a stomping dance across my spine to the back of my head. Lifting up I reached over touching the links. More tingles. I blushed, there by myself as the first thought to bubble up in my head and burst with warmth was..I wish I was still chained in His wagon. I missed it. There, I was truly safe. Damn Catch's words making sense now. I wished I was locked away safe in here. How selfish of me. I was already a chore for Catch, I wanted to be a permanent one. Drawing the chain out as far as it would go, I let the shackle wrap loosely around the ankle that wasn't locked with bells. I would leave it there for now. How crazy. Chains were now my stuffed fur sleen of comfort. Thinking of sleen, I wondered what had happened to Alvis and Lilly. Poor little house sleen lost in this mass of wagons and new life. I hoped if they were killed, it was swift and humane.

I pulled over the leathers I had worked on the other day. I checked all the stitching, after attacking that poor man with flinging them at him. I blushed deeply once more. What a crazed fool I must have looked like. I shall have to tell him I'm sorry next time I see him. I hoped it wouldn't be late at night like he warned. I let my fingers be moistened by a bit of oil from the small jar I used before while working on it, and checked all the seams. My fingers started to stain again, when...a thought hit me. I looked over to my covering I was given, then to the leather at my fingers. I had an idea! Go me! I was excited at my idea! Jumping up I started towards the door only to find even a lightly placed shackle still had some tug. So once I picked myself up and rubbed my tender ankle I was on my mission again. Pushing back the flap of the wagon, I looked around to see if any mean scary Honey and her gang of wayward slaves were near. All was clear. I walked down the steps enough to find a bucket, a barrel, fill the bucket and run like the wind back into the wagon. I was almost ashamed of my fear. I looked over the pieces of leather looking for one that looked the darkest as it might have been the most recently dyed. I placed it in the bucket of water watching its stain start to bleed out a bit. Perfect! I then stuffed down my cloth clothing that was given. Now to let that soak for a bit, I would see how it came out in a few ahn's. I carried the bucket towards the entrance flap and pushed it out to the heat and light of the day on the platform. Now...where did I want to start?

I decided, to learn my new home I would clean it, though in reality, it was very clean already. I figured, I could work on my cleaning skills. With the freedom of movement, I could do a full front to back cleaning. I started with pushing any chest and baskets out to the platform, and yes, scolding myself every time I looked out to see if those bad bad slaves were out there. Then I would fold all sleeping furs and blankets, taking them out also. All the baskets filled with neat things I couldn't wait to look through and finally the fur carpets to shake and hang over the railings. Once it was empty, minus the center brazier, I started to learn..the wagon. I walked its length, looked over the frame that went from boxed shape to leather canvas, ties in the inside, ribbed arches, bits of pegs and metal, and various ventilation openings on top. I let fingers touch along where the leather and wood met on the walls, seeing if there was any gaps or anything that might be of concern. I didn't know much on wagons, but I was enjoying teaching myself. I looked at the way the binds were knotted and hoops of rope at the edging kept it tight along the wood frame. I started from top , or what I could reach, to bottom. Using a rep cloth to dust off the built in shelves, the sides of walls, then finally worked on cleaning the floors. I took a soft cloth and started to rub down the chains. Oh sweet Odin...me an chains. Their links were a nicer song then the bells that were a chorus of sounds as I moved. I would bring in the carpets, then the trunks, baskets and bedding. By then I walked out and poured the bucket of my dying cloth over the edge. I ran to refill the bucket with fresh water and rinsed both pieces until the ebony color stopped flowing. My cloth...was nice and evenly colored. I loved the dark hues in contrast of my hair. With my freckles and pale skin, lighter ones just didn't seem right! I hung the cloth over the wagon rail with the bit of leather to dry. I went in and gathered up all the rest of the leather, in the basket and put it by the door. I didn't know where it belonged and I'm sure Catch would tell me or take it when she saw I finished.

I started to stitch completely the straps on the bota's and bind some cording from the cork and neck, also give a last lining of waterproofing on the old seams and new stitches I was doing. About half way done I walked out to check on the cloth I left to dry. I gasped when I saw a slave by it. I don't think I have ever saw her before, maybe at the stream this morning. I felt my heart rage fully as she had my cloth in her hair. She looked up to me with a smirk, she was pretty. Light brown hair with golden highlights, and the lightest brown eyes to match. She didn't say much but watched me with that damn smirk. Finally she tossed me the cloth. Before she turned and walked away...she said she gave it a few cuts to not make it so bulky and for me to try to bit of cording around the waist. I could thank her later...and before I could speak, she had slipped between wagons and was gone.

I was dumbfounded. Was she being kind or mean? I was afraid to see what she had done to the cloth I'm suppose to be wearing! I held it close to my chest as I walked back inside the wagon, and finally spread it out. Oh the shame! She had cut it like that of a bond's wear! How..did she know? Its slit was down low in front below the navel. Brazen! It was a bit high along the thighs, and the sleeves had been cut. I took a moment to use the thread from the slave leathers to even up the edging. It was pretty. I noticed it could be wrapped and made into different designs also, just from this single cloth. I think Big Red would have been proud of me. Showing a hint of fashion, even if it was just slave wear.

I looked to my wrist, I forgotten I took my bracelets off and left them in His wagon. I felt my heart ache a bit. I felt, alone. The first slave to speak to me had done so and left. I should have followed her. I let my fear keep me here. I had to get out, I didn't want Him angry with me. If the women were so quick and harsh, His will might be...deadly if disappointed.

I slipped the cloth on, finding a piece of long black ribbon in the baskets I wrapped around my waist. I felt...pretty. I liked the look of my hair against my shoulder spilling down my back with the ebony cloth. Oh goodness. Vanity was something I never had before. So aching and surprise were my emotions this evening. I continued to work on the bota's until I was about finished with the last one when I saw Catch return. She looked tired from her long day but always had that happy feeling. Like almonds and sweet verr milk. It was very nice. I was so happy to see her. Catch...was the only constant in my life so far. I think without her, I might have allowed myself to break. I was starting to understand my feelings a bit more. She had Him in the beginning, that is why I felt that burst of thrill and eternal pleasure in life when she was near Him. I didn't know Him to know why she felt that way truly. But maybe cause He was her constant. I let my mind fill with the haze of His face. I smiled. Story lines that itched. I wondered if I offered oil would I get the pleasure of one of those line's tale? It was something to look forward to. She said for me to get bowls, took a few ehns for that to register in, before I got them. I spoke of my day, must the surface of it, I wanted to tell her so much more. The first one today I would be able to speak to. I had one of the warm meat sausages in my hand as I settled beside her....and as I ate, as I was happy. I couldn't believe I fell asleep.

I remember eating the stew the night before. It was warm, and the bread was warm, and it was warm in my mouth. It was also very warm in my soul. Food calmed me. I amused myself with a half thought of how huge I was going to get if all this kept up. It's not so much eating that calmed me, its the thought of how much love is put into cooking. I suppose I only feel this way after years of growing up watching Blush's cook. She was a great cook. The best ever. I would sit and watch her as a little girl. Big Red was usually playing with her dolls in the sunroom or having Stitches fit her for another new dress. Stitches taught me how to refine my decorative sewing into art, but Big Red spent so much time with her, cause Big Red had a gift of color. She could make things just look good together. She decorated rooms, would want fabric changed on cushions in warmer seasons. I found it irritating. I liked dark colors and she was always trying to put light hues on me. For Twins, we were so very different. It was early mornings and late evenings spent in the kitchens I would guess that made me learn to love and enjoy every scent around me. Different smells of spices, even bowls things were mixed in. Each kind of tree had its own smell. She didn't let me so much cook as she would tell me what she was doing. Tell me every person of the hall that like certain things a certain way. I would see her face light up and her whole body warm to sweet cinnamon and sugar scented emotions when she spoke of Father. There was a vanilla warmth when she would speak of Mother. Mother loved bread, she would tell me. She would keep Mother's memories alive for me. We were so young when she died, and Von never got to know her, but it was like...we did, and we owe all that to Blushes.

I did ask once when I was younger..."If you love Father so much and always say your breath from his breaths...how did you not feel sad about my Mother being there?" Yes, it seems as a child even I lacked the filter of thinking before I speak. Her answer...everything she use to say, as though it really wasn't a memory branding moment back then, seemed to rise and make more sense now, with my current living arrangement. She said, it was because men have to sides of love in them. They have a love that would desire to care for, embrace the powers of so many Fathers before them. Have children, and someone beside them to walk through life with. Someone who is strong enough to hold a child, His needs, and keep their own will equal as far as equal goes. That is what Companions did. They were so strong in the heart, that they might not like, but accepted the whims of the other side of his love. That would be the love of accepting slaves. Accepting them to care for everything around him. Allowing such intimate things of making sure his boots stitching is strong or if they torn while he was working it might be deadly if he lost his footing. Accepting them to kneel at his feet, for he knows their hearts beat is at his hands and they are so raw in emotions they love every feel of fingers that squeeze it now and then in teaching and molding of this will to be controlled.

Now when I was younger, I thought that sounded pretty stupid. It made more sense as I woke up and I felt fingers touching me to arouse me. It was Catch, and even talking of collecting Dung, for His wagon's, extra's cause He had a huge family to care for..and things to that sort..I smelled it. That sugar and cinnamon emotion off of her. Perhaps its what made me remember everything. That comfort smell of..Love. I didn't fight her, I didn't say a whole lot. I took a deep breath as I woke up, and I felt that collar. I slipped on that clothing, that made me a bit more sure of myself. Catch handed me a couple leather dung sack's as I followed her out. I was outside...freely moving around. I felt scared. There was streams of slaves like fallen leaves scattered all over. Catch gave me a few pointers on collecting as I followed her as if I didn't see the back of her ankles and chime of bells moving around I would get swallowed up in the mass of waves of slaves and drown. I was a bit happy that pull and scalp Mistress wasn't in eyes shot of my work. Cause yes, maybe I wasn't the best, I was trying to keep up, I felt awkward. I felt my back start to ache from leaning over, and my upper arms burn. I felt this thrill again, like when I was working on the leather..when both sacks were filled. Accomplishment.

I followed Catch, who had three sacks..wow...back to the Wagon's. She showed me where to hang them on the pegs. Then said something that was the best thing I have heard so far! It was time to bath to get ready to start the day! I was so happy about bathing I forgot to make a comment about assuming my day had started when I picked up that first dung chip. I was so thrilled to not have to wash with a basin so much, I didn't think of anything, I was happy Catch was there to snap me back to here and now. I felt like a child unable to care for herself yet, as I had to be told the little stuff. Cloth for washing, some soap and oils. Little things that use to be taken care of for me. She showed me where to get them so I could start taking care of myself. I was about skipping towards the stream. Yes, not sure why I was thinking a tub filled with warm water. It was an open stream and slaves were gathered there, talking, laughing, swimming, and washing up. I took off the cloth and washed it first. Dust and dung..not nice to my senses. I laid it out on the warm grass with many other articles of slave clothing drying already. The water was a bit cool. I walked in slowly watching the rich blue waves now reflect from the light that was brightening by the ehn across its surface. I watched it sparkle, and it lead me to walk out more into as the chill would start to rise slowly along my thighs, hips and waist. It seemed to give a cool touch that would start to melt away from my warm skin and heat up a bit as I moved. I stayed out there for a few ehn's letting every part of me slowly sink into the water, before I went to get the cloth and soap. I am surprised I still have hair for as rough as I scrubbed it. Its thick red layers darkened while wet, and it was making me feel alive with the wonderful smell of...clean. I washed my body pink with the cloth going over and over my skin, making sure not a single bit of grim was left anywhere. In the stain of hued flesh from my cleaning I would watch my freckles disappear just less then an ihn in the work of my fingers with cloth, only to come back once I moved to another area.

I was feeling so good!

Until...I felt myself lose footing with a shouldering that was so hard by someone that walked by. By the time I surfaced up and pushed my hair out of my face to see..who..what...I heard. "Move out the way spot, real slaves have work to do." I didn't need to let my eyes focus to know the voice. Her and a small group of slaves were already walking up the grassy bank to the wagons by the time I saw her. For once in my life, I didn't have the desire to find a switch to strike Honey, I wanted to just stay away from her.

Such a cruel cruel twist.

I was thankful when Catch said to finish up, she would show me back to the wagon, before she went to tend to her chores.

Pain and Confusion

I wasn't sure what was going on. I have never seen this person before, or at the moment when the thick woolen fibers of fear started to harden in my head I didn't think I had. All I knew... it wasn't...Him. Just when I started to get my wits and dare to feel a hint of thrill over my new life, something was happening. I quickly reached over snatching my blanket to wrap it tight around me. I felt...shameful. I didn't feel shameful standing on the platform naked while I was cleaning, or working on the leather and furs. Now I did. This strange man was looking at me. The look of amusement seemed to flash over his eyes and that brought me more fear. He hadn't said a word yet, and I was completely losing it! This man was going to steal me! I knew it. This place had some strange just up and just snatch people away thing happening. That had to be it. Why would a man be in this wagon who wasn't Him? I am still not sure what happened, but I was beyond myself! I started to scream at this man and looked around for things to ward him off with. Only thing near me was fur carpets, and piles of leather vest and strips of black I knew were bound between girls thighs. So that was my protection, didn't really do much, but I have to say I was a bit not myself. Cause I didn't know the person who was screaming for this man to get out of her Master's wagon! How one can't go around just taking folks like this! This person who was throwing kalmak's and chatka's at this big Warrior walking towards her. The girl who tried to push rugs between her and him. The person who stripped off her blanket and threw it at him before trying to crawl as far as the chain would allow to teh back of the wagon, and started to pull furs and whatever she could find over her.


Of course she didn't get to far. The sound of colorful words about insane dwellers, grunts and pulling of chain dragged me right back to him no matter how much I tried to dig my nails into the wooden floor under rugs. I felt a hand taking my legs and using the chain to wrap around my ankles, then another hand pulling my arm to the small of my back, as a knee pinned it, and I gasped for breath under the weight holding me in place. A few things happened so quickly. I felt the shackle released from my ankle and another weight placed on my neck. Once the weight lifted from my back, a hand found the collar quickly pulling me to the tips of my toes. For an ehn...I didn't think I could breath, or I merely forgot. He looked into my eyes, which instantly flooded with tears. I wasn't allowed an ihn to catch my wits as I was dropped to the floor and told to pick up the mess I just made.


Harta!


My heart froze and I quickly rushed around the wagon to collect every ebony piece of leather placing it back in the tipped over basket. I laid the furs back across the flooring. I took my blanket, pressing it against my face for a last breath before it was folded and placed at the edge of the sleeping couch. I was told to follow. I gathered my chores, not sure why, maybe if I thought of what made me feel safe I could get over how much I felt I was being choked by the metal band at my neck that felt like it was beyond tight. Reality was, it was loose but the effect was nothing short of being strangled. I let the straps of the bota's find my shoulders and I held the things brought to me to work on by Catch. I walked out feeling a blush touch as I was naked and following this man I didn't know. I found myself trying to stay in his trailing shadow. Some of the passing slaves watched me curiously. He walked into this other wagon, and I followed hearing the deep bang of my heart rising up my throat, making this band of steel tighter, and almost deafening in my ears.

It was then, he motioned me to the side, there I placed my task against the wall in a pile, and I knelt, blushed, and looked to the material tossed at me. I was to wear that, he said, while I was outside. I looked up for the first time finding words that were not being screamed or out of fear.

"What am I to do outside?"

He looked a bit amused again by my ignorance. There was that hint of irritation still there from my emotional outburst, but I had to say I was beyond thankful he wasn't angry. I blushed a bit seeing him just look at me. I was told..of His wants. I was to find a slave to help me. I was to learn. I was to wear this cloth outside. He pulled out this band of bells. I only looked up when I heard the chimes. He walked towards me and I felt myself ease back against the wall, and he chuckled. He didn't wait for me to move as he might have wanted. His hand touched my leg, and he pulled out my leg, and I didn't fight him. But a grin told me he noticed how much I tensed up and my hands went over all my girl parts in shield. He was..touching me again. Though it was just to lock the bells against my ankle, it had some strange effect again on me.

"Thank You.......Master"

I think that threw us both off a bit. I felt him still looking at me, while I suddenly found my fingers very interesting. He lifted to a full stance before touching my hair, and walking out without another word..until he pushed back the flaps and said one more thing.

"Your to be back in the wagon by nightfall, or I might be out there to get you. Maybe you might be lucky and just have a sleen eat you"

I heard him turn quickly and steps go down the stairs. I was afraid, confused and had no idea what was going to happen now. It was late in the afternoon, my head was hurting and my chest was aching.

What did this all mean?

I just found a fur and laid against it. I found sleep was my escape when I couldn't understand my own emotions in things around me. Not sure how long I slept when I smelled stew, and the warmth of Catch. Her aura had a very smooth and silky smell. She gave comfort by being close. I was soulfully exhausted. I didn't say a thing, I wasn't ready to. I touched the collar and it burned my finger tips. I was just so confused. So confused.

Feeling useful.

The morning started as any other, the smoldering air woke up me, as I was still trying to adjust to the constant heat. I could wait an ahn and no cool breeze would be found. The morning rolled around slowly in its basic start of me pulling down the half finished bota's and checking the seams. I would add a bit more of the sealant on the stitch edging, just to be safe. Then I started to work in Thick cuts of leather straps around the narrow mouth piece, it was a bit more time consuming to work the thicker of the needles through and then make sure there was enough waterproofing sealant between the thicker leather and the scooped bota leather mouth piece. Again I would set it along the stitching that held the two pieces together. I measured its width perfectly to the corks that were left, knowing each wouldn't be the same, and the leather would be formed for that particular cork that I had choose for the individual bota's. I let a wet finger work around the inner piece of thick leather to soften it, making sure even in its soft form it was firm in sealing at the corks width. For once it dried around the cork, its seal would be perfect, and tight. Once again that feeling of pride was starting to kindle in my chest. I couldn't wait to show my progress to Catch...or even..Him. I walked each bota out as far as my chain would allow to let them hang up to dry, as I knew it would be quick with the warmth in the wagon. While I started to look over pieces of black leather, I would feel a blush touch as I saw how...skimpy each piece was. Not that I didn't see such on slaves walking around already, but to see it up close and personal, it looked so much smaller. Of course it was a bit more then...naked. I could work with skimpy. I took a small jar of oil out of the basket with the leathers, letting just the tips of my fingers be coated with it. I would give a small fold of the edges of the hems with the oil to keep the leather soft and flexible even with the tight stitching. It would also help in not letting the leather stiffen up causing stress on the stitching. Less need for constant repairs. Or so that is how Blush's use to do it at home. Cause my leather skirts when it was cold out, and me and Von were on our bets and adventures would always bring me many mends and patches that were needed. I quickly noticed the difference between the leathers as my fingers began to become stained. I will say, it was very interesting. Watching the hues of ebony starting to tint my finger tips as it melted away my pale flesh and gave it color that even swallowed up and collected my freckles in its spread.

I let a hum surround me, as I let my fingers continue to work along the edging on the vest. I amused myself with cross stitching that was a bit decorative, but one might not notice unless they really looked at the vest hems as the thread I was using was dyed black and if it was a bit light on the hue, it would grow darker from the oil and my smudge of black going from leather to fingers. I had noticed the form of the brand on most of the slaves that walked by. There were different ones but the mass of them were the same. It was like two sets of horns from bosk curving out from the center. I would make little horns all long the lowered hems. I wished for a different color thread but for now, it was good practice for me, and a form of pleasure as I work. A little something special, even if I would be the only one who truly noticed.

I had went through them pretty quickly, quicker then I thought I would have, when I went to reach for another and the pieces were already hemmed. I couldn't help it, I brought up one of the vest I had finished, slipping it through my arms to try it on, feeling very naughty about doing it. Like some secret one's heart would rage about in thought of it. The leather was soft and tight, and it molded against my breast. I could see the swells seem to enhance under its hold and freckled flesh about spill right out. I laughed to myself, and my cheeks were on fire. I lifted to my feet to look down and saw breast just looking....like....Wow. I was impressed. I let darkened finger tips just poke at the mounds of flesh and pondered making it tighter to see how much I could pull the leather until they really popped out, when I heard booted steps start up the stairs to the platform. I quickly took the vest off and tossed it in the basket. My heart was raging...He was back! Looking towards the entrance the flap was drawn back more. It clearly wasn't Him.

Working for a living.

I could breath in the warmth. It made me think of cold mornings found in the wrap of the combed wool blankets, cracked song of fire place, and knowing nothing was more perfect then that feeling of behind held, tucked in, snuggled in your own bed. Breathing in fibers scented with oils from your own flesh, and that, you really didn't need to rise unless you truly felt like it.

But this was not the case. It was a nice memory though. I brushed the kaleidoscope of color in my blanket against my cheek, breathed in a scent which not mine in domination. I was just a lingered aroma in the mixture of that which seemed to fill my senses. I never really enjoyed..the smell before today. I am one to pick up on the essence of scents. Feeling of them. I love the smell of everything. Not to say I go snorting foul things, but even those had a place in life. It was still an emotion. Death, Life or illness. Results of a meal gone bad or even the bloated essence of anxiety. I, for the first time, lifted to my feet and walked out naked, as far as my chain would allow it. I gave a gasp, as the heat of the day curled around my naked body and the light of day found every bit of my flesh as if born for the first time in its light. I stood stunned for an ehn. It felt wonderful. This feeling, never felt before. Heat, light, freedom of clothing gifted with everything the natural world had to offer to me. I wondered about my own thoughts. Freedom of....what? Freedom? Was I free? I was...Free, but was I even more so, then before? Was it...possible? Why was I here to begin with? Yes, I wanted to hang my blanket out on the railing to let the weave breath in this warm air also. I found, it wasn't the only thing I wanted to do. I wanted to do so much more. I had the Freedom to do this. I walked back in looking around in a new light. I saw the food left, the work left, the water left. The fruit left. I saw a basin of water, rep cloths, and I found a small jar with a bit of oil in it. It was light, yet still at a good consistency for my own skin. I figured it was probably Catch's, or even His. It wasn't scented. I was a bit disappointed, but it was still oil. I moved towards the spot I slept and started to roll up the furs. I took one of the rep cloths, and just misted it with flickers of water droplets from my fingers after I dipped them in the basin. I tossed the sleeping furs of my own spot out on the platform. I needed more light. I fully rolled up the heavy leather flap, tying it back so the wagon was completely open. I figured if I worked fast on what was on my mind, then it wouldn't be open long. I wasn't sure how He...would feel about that. I tucked that thought in questions that started to birth in my mind. I used the rep cloth to rub along the wooden floor after I picked up the fur carpets from near the base and start of my chains anchor. I stacked the food and work left for me on the cleaned spot. I didn't know where any brooms of hand brushes might be, for right now, where ever they were, it wasn't in my reach. I could compromise. Once I got that stuff put up I started rolling up all the furs I could gather tossing them out across the platform with the other. I reached, I mean, I had a nice bruised throbbing on my ankle for how far I was stretching to pull the furs and blankets off His sleeping couch. Those I walked out in arm full, to shake out and hang over the railing of the platform. Once I got a nice area cleared I used the misted cloth to sweep off the dust and debris from the wooden floors. I put the rep cloth in a bucket I found, so it could be washed. I closed up the flaps finally as I started to shake out the carpets. I didn't risk the dust going back in, of course I figured that out after I cleaned the floor the second time and thought it smart to put the flap back down. I let the furs just spread out on the platform as I went back in, and finally washed my hands and ate one of the small eggs and bread. I wasn't hungry, I was strangely...excited.

Leaving the furs out in the warm air, I rolled part of the flap up to give me some light. I looked over the examples left for me, for the bota's. Looking in the basket, I pulled out the skin's putting them in piles with sizes matched that were close to each other. There was thick thread, needles in different widths, a piece of wood I knew was for working the needle through leather. I looked at this knife like thing. I think it was made from bone. I have never seen a bone knife before. It had also this tool with a sharp metal blade on this wooden handle. It looked like a scraping tool. One side was very sharp, the other smooth, for scraping then pressing down any lifted skin, making it sealed from perhaps working oil into the scraped skin from the blade itself. I could figure this out from the smooth oil residue on the dull side. I wasn't without knowledge on leather. Blushes was very skilled with leather. I knew some things from watching her as a child. She would heat rounded pieces of metal to mold leather into designs. Almost like branding but it was heated enough bent the leather under the heat and not hot enough to burn through. It was a way to make patterned designs, each unique. I was amazed how much things that seemed so very unimportant in the past were a trunk of gem wealth now.

I started working on the skins. I saw a lidded jar of pitch. I knew pitch well. In the North we used it for everything. In many different forms, but almost everything we used, or touched needed to be waterproofed due to the harsh cold of winters, fog and when heat did come, we were moist with condensation. We made our own natural pitch tar. It was another fond and wonderful memory. I opened the jar, working it into the powder into the fur as I combed it deep into the skin through the fur with a very fine toothed wooden comb. Every fur I combed I thought of the metal containers that would be smoked in the ground to make the pitching tar. Father would let us, Big Red, Von and I collect peeling dry bark from trees to pack the containers with, as him and Claes would smoke them to almost a charcoal residue. It was the core base for anything needing to be waterproofed.

Exhaling, I let the furs lay out to let it soak in. What I liked most about the pitch here was it was a thick grease like texture. It would soak into the skin perfectly. I brought in the rugs while the skins were setting. I laid them back over the floors, and folded the blankets and sleeping furs. I couldn't reach fully His couch so I just left the folded bedding on the edge. I placed mine to the side before I brought the skins over and I started to edge up the furs. I would let a couple needs hold them in place around the curves as I started to stitch the edging. It was late in the afternoon, from the shadows I knew it was early evening. I put a second row of stitching in each before I finally just placed a few stitches to add straps. They were not fully connected yet, cause they needed to hang and set. Tomorrow I would check the stitching once the leather molded to the fitted sewn shape. Once I check to see if it would hold water tomorrow, I would finish them up. I would work on the black leather in the morning.

I took one of the fruits and peeled it. I squeeze it in the basin as I added more water from the bota left for me. I washed up in the citrus water. It made me feel very refreshed. I ate some cheese and bread. Laying out my blanket I laid across on top of it. I could smell Him all over the wagon, I could smell Catch. I was missing...them both. I laid there watching the shadows. Listening to voices coming out from the herds, talking of the day with tones of pride and pleasure. I felt proud, the work I got done today. It left me yearning...for more.

Catch.....a dream.

I have found myself rotating my life around Catch. I often look towards the door and think....Where is Catch? What is Catch doing? DOESN'T SHE KNOW I'M HUNGRY? Nice little thoughts like that. The more ahn's went by the more jealous I was becoming over chores. I wanted them. I wanted to be a part of this big picture. While there was light out I would sit on the platform and watch people. I had taken to wrapping the blanket around me like some colorful woolen Toga. Yes, it was a bit warm, but a price to pay for not flashing my nakeds all over. I saw things around the wagon, but again, I was afraid to touch anything. I wasn't sure what I was suppose to be doing. Maybe this was suppose to be a moment of reflection on the path I'm taking in life. Or some bosk shit like that. Its like a grounding to ones chambers during those adolescent years. To think about what I have done. I got those enough times to know, they did nothing for me. I usually napped or day dreamed looking out the window. I learned to sew in those days, pretty designs I became quite skilled at, due to my bit of a rambunctious attitude. Or so I consider it.

While I was keeping the platform of the wagon safe with my perched guard by the entrance a woman walked up wearing some clothing that was a bit to big for her. Now I have noticed enough walking by with form fitting leathers to know, baggy wasn't the in thing near these wagons. I put it away assuming she was wearing hand-me-down leathers from her Mate's sister or something, and didn't know how to sew to hem them in a bit. I would offer tomorrow if I see her, when I'm not feeling all sore about still be chained. She was looking for Him. I was happy when Catch arrived, she pretty much took control. I was thankful for that. I had no idea what to tell these people. I didn't even bother to say "Look Lady...He ain't here obviously, please stop hollering!" She seemed to be enjoying Her task of looking so I would let Her. I got over my grumpy feelings for just an ehn when Catch brought me some stew. The "Seeking Lady of whom I call Him" seemed to be hungry also, and for some reason, I felt I needed to hold tight to my food. Afraid someone might take it out of my hand. So Catch fed Lady Big Leathers and another arrived baring gifts for Him. I have to say, I was pretty much not in the most lifted of spirits being a chain puppet. I suppose maybe the sensitive ears of the Women were not taking kindly to my remarks. I will say, I know for sure...Lady Pull and Scalp taught me quickly that She was not a big one particularly for my conversation. She put a nice firm fear of Him into me. I will say, I was scared. I didn't want Him upset with me. I have had my fill of near death experiences with Him, and I'm not ready to just move to Death in general. Something says I would be safer kissing a wild sleen in heat, survival wise, then to fall under His displeased hands on me.

Once everyone left, Catch said she would bring me some sewing and then fixed water for me to do dishes, which we did together. I started to ask her questions, though the back of my mind was still questioning what Mistress Pull and Scalp said about Catch perhaps getting switching rights. I asked Catch about...Her...Her dreams...Her wants, what makes Her. I have to say...she had nice dreams. The visions left a bit of a comical aftermath of thinking of little Tu-chunkies running around the wagons.

I pondered still her remarks of asking if I was jealous over love. No, I was afraid of it. Bad things happen to people in love. My best friend gave her up life for Love, and my sister died for it. Why would I want love if it would make me...lose me? I liked the glow on Catch's face, I even truly believed...He loved her back, cause He gave her gifts, like those bells around her ankle she was so proud of. They were nice bells. He must really love her. So I gave her the best advice I could. Ask to be free, offer to pop out a bunch of those little dream Tarskies, and talk Him into letting me out of these chains.

Sounded good to me. I could handle being a little part of her dream. I would make them all food, and watch love plump up those kids. Right now though, I don't have time for her to make the dream come true. I just wanted out of this chain! The Mistress said take the time being chained to think about why I'm there. Duh, someone up and stole my ass. Didn't really work in the equation of thinking hard and deep about that. For now, I spent the rest of the night while Catch went to finish chores, stopping any slave that walked by, and I mean...any slave.

"Hey, if you see the man who owns me...yeah, Master..sure...but listen...Tell Him I want to pick dung in the morning!"

Out of the dozen's of slaves that passed..I wonder if my message would ever make it. I had to prove to that Mistress I could pick dung better then any girl around here. I was ready for the challenge!

Catch...a piece of her happiness.

I was bored. Bored Bored Bored Bored. I was in the wagon alone, and in being in the wagon alone I knew I could walk over and touch the top of a chest ahead of me. To the right, I could touch the edge of His sleeping couch. I would jump up and down 15 times before the weight of the shackle seemed to rub against my ankle and I started to feel a bit strange doing this naked. One learns what bits and pieces move with no clothing on. There were lots of things I could touch, but I didn't. I wasn't sure what the touching rule was. Well touching His stuff. As I sat and looked over my body for a bit, I wondered if I would be considered...His stuff too? In that case, I was naughty, I was touching. I was touching my toes, my ankles, feeling the thickness, coolness, and strong hold of the shackle. I was touching my knees, thighs and hips. I had no desire to touch that private personal spot cause, well..it wasn't fascinating me as much as my body as a whole was. I guess I never really noticed, I sure do have a lot of spots. Freckles were just all over me like someone flicking a paint brush around with no real creative eye other then to just speckle the canvas that would be my flesh. If I had something to mark with, I would enjoy melting the ahn's away with connecting the dots. I wondered if I could make pictures like ones we tried to form out of stars. This amused me to no end, I almost forgot how bored I was. Sadly it was short lived, when I looked around once more and settled my eyes against the door. I was afraid to walk towards it. Fingers fluttered the taunt feel of my stomach as it was tightening a bit cause I was starving.

So now I had an adventure of not thinking about food. I would instead, find something to keep me busy. Really the only thing I found to do that I thought was a slight bit safe was...adjust the fur carpeting. I would pull the edges flat, comb my fingers through it, and start to layer them from darker hues on top to lighter shades towards the less traffic area's. Or the area's I assumed might be less traffic. There was a fresh breeze coming in as the flap was tied back just a bit, I am assuming to air out the wagon. I closed my eyes and breathed in all it had to offer me. Right now it was offering this buttery wonderful roasting aroma of vulo's. I felt my mouth water at an instant dream of its succulent white meat melting against my tongue. Leaning back against the half wall of the wagon I pulled my blanket around me. I pondered a nap, I could dream of eating right? Of the long rows of tables of the great hall. People sitting ready to eat with markers of bowls of salt upon each surface. I would smile looking down at the rest as I would sit at the main table with my family, and have trays of meats, fruits and cheeses with bread offered to me. Life was good.

I heard steps, motions when I would open my eyes and see the pretty dark haired girl walk in. I honestly was thankful to see a face! She brought me a small bowl of water, and the first thing I started to do when I got it, was wash up. I felt more grubby then I felt thirsty. Being chained had its drawbacks but I was very anal about cleanliness. I blushed a bit, when she went to get the basin for something a bit more suitable for washing up. We talked a bit, I asked for a rep cloth, she got me one, need a bit of cloth to scrub off the dirty parts, or the parts that felt dirty. Scrubbing made the skin a bit pink under freckles but it was so refreshing. Funny thing happened, as I was washing up, and talking...I had a back of the mind thought of Him. A bit of olive oil with ginger, men of the North seemed to like it, it would absorb into the skin and not smell like a woman, it would be a pleasing, soothing scent, and it would make tight skin soft and itch less. The men used it on scars caused by chunks of flesh sewn together after a piece has been removed from an axe. I figured it would be the same tightness feeling as He spoke of mentioning His scars. Perhaps...I shall look into it once I'm out of lock down. I thought of little things just swirling around in my head. Weird. Perhaps it was her..who did it. She gave a feel of happiness. I could feel its tingle as she spoke and moved around. The dreamy look in her eyes that caused them to glow when she spoke of Him. I wanted that feeling. She thought I was some girl named Pink, I guess that belongs to Him also. I asked her if He had some color thing happening? Pink..now Red. I thought in the back of my mind..what color would she be? Catch, her name is Catch. Now I can stop lifting my hands up every time I hear it. Its not the name she was born with, but its the one He gave her. Like He dubbed me, simply...Red. I think I would call her Yellow, like Lar Torvis's rays painting over the rich hues of yellow Talendar. Yes, that would be perfect for her. Big Red would have liked her a lot. They could have sat around and talked about fuzzy happy la la love shit. I could hear my sister now...Vivica, keep using those foul words and I will tell Father you used his prize dagger collection to make spike steps to ladder up the tree...She could so be no fun, but me and Von had a blast! We spent all afternoon hammering in those daggers tight into the base of the tree like a spiral stair case around the trunk so we could use the tips of our toes to climb the handles to the top branches. They were great daggers too, not one blade broke. Of course Father found out, cause we did such a good job of putting them in, they wouldn't budge to be removed..... Father chased the both of us with a switch until we ran to hide in the bosk herd. He never took the daggers out though. She was moving in and out checking on food and speaking with me. My mind would wander in the breaks of our conversation.

She thought I was special cause I got no real choices, I thought she was because she did. Funny how different we both see things. She had a chance to return home, I didn't see it in my future anymore. So much praise she gave Him. Calling Him the Brave Warrior Fonce, though I doubt she would say that to Him, He was Master to us. In a way, it was nice to hear it. It was like a friend speaking to a friend. I will pretend that is the case. Made me miss Ingrid. Though she submitted to my Brother out of love, and was now a slave, me and her would still talk to secrets of our heart. She said....the chain would reach outside the entrance. I could have kicked myself! If I had known that I would have been sitting outside! Gathering the blanket around me, I did just that, walked out and sat near the edge of the frame holding the leather flap of doorway. I watched her cook, she brought me food which was beyond delicious. I was about to tell her about my sister..when she had chores to finish and said she would return.

I wanted to go with her. I...wanted...chores. Oh my..what is happening to me?

Of Wool and Chains.

I have lost control. Control of everything in my life. This was a first in all honesty. It feels like I lost it, but in reality I know I still control the core. If I fight Him, and make things horrid, I'm sure He would simply drown me. He seemed to like that. So its my choice to be calm and take in the feel and sight of what is around me. Beyond the verr wool blanket and all its colors. Beyond the chain, that provoked feelings I have never felt before. I see shelves, chest, layers of furs, painted edging, and some tapestries. Everything had a feel of "Man" at the depths of its layout with a tiny subtle caress of a woman's adjustment in this Man Wagon. I think it could use a sprinkle more of gentle, soothing, and nurturing touch of a woman.

I cried a bit this morning. I missed for the first time I can remember...the Sunrise. I might not have missed it, if I had asked to be awakened, or simply rouse myself from my slumber. I had been mentally and physically exhausted. Every time the chain links played its loud sound of clinks, my head started to throb and my heart to quickly beat. I wish I understood these feelings. The afternoon rolled around, I figured it was such for I had awakened only a mere ahn, when I quickly feel asleep again. The sleep wasn't sound. It was very busy. Bits of wool were formed into hearts in lock of chains just swirling around me. I was trying to figure it out. I felt for the first time...safe. I wasn't not unsure of anything. It was honestly a feeling of certainty. I was certain I was a Slave. I was certain this was my new home. I was certain that I was chained, and I was certain I was in love with this warm blanket that shielded my nakeds. It took the will of a man to touch wool and steel to my body to make me more confident of my surroundings. I could hear the thrill of laughter from Big Red in the air. She would kiss me and tell me it was alright. I know she would. She would embrace me and say...Kneel with spirit, and serve with fire! You will be the best at whatever you do, if you put your heart into anything you wish to accomplish. Of course she told me this in a different context when she was truly alive and not a hallucination in my mind.

I woke up with a clear mind. Just another adventure, I would tell myself. I would hold my head up high and smile. Though right now, my head ached a bit, and I felt like I had a hangover from a long night of mead. Mead..would taste so good right now. I could almost taste it against my tongue. I was alone in the wagon, I was pretty thankful for the moment of solitude. After awhile I started to listen for foot steps or bells, I was feeling...lonely. Even with my blanket of wool and my chain.

Mm-ASS-ter

Following Him wasn't that far of an adventure, though I felt like my ass had seen more light from the stars then it has ever seen outside. My hands were over my breast and down over spot where one says 'Its a girl!' from the first time I came out. He walked, as if there wasn't a nakie slave behind Him. How dare He! Not a bit of concern that perhaps, I was embarrassed! I knew it wouldn't be a good time to say my feelings about not particularly liking wagons. A pretty girl with dark hair jumped up and was following Him in, when we arrived. I wasn't so excited. I stood at the steps for a few ehns pondering life. So, Red, yes, I was simply just...Red. What do you do now? Do you walk up these steps into this Outlaws wagon? Do you stand out here and risk whip happy man walking by? I knew about Bond's, but never ever a day in my life figured I would be all in the slave moment mix. I turned my head and looked over the platform, thinking a floor mat of a very beaten Honey would look good across that entrance way. Now let me think. What would Blushes do? I really loved Blushes. I guess, I knew her a slave but didn't really consider her totally a slave, but in all honesty I treated her like a slave. I asked her to get me things, would send her back and forth to give messages to my Father, expected her to brush my hair the way I liked it, cause Honey was just to rough sometimes, but Blushes did it with perfection. She would even place a delicate kiss against the top of my hair saying I smell wonderful after she worked a bit of mildly soft scented oils into my scalp and ends of my hair to make it shine. Blushes would go in, and smile! Nah, I can't do that. Not yet. She would tell me "Be brave (Mistress) little Red, for you hold the key any door you wish to enter." Sure thing. This door didn't have a key hole. I walked up finally, feeling the texture of wood under my bare feet, the cool layers lifting me higher up the steps, and the walk to the flap, which I just shouldered to watch for another ehn. The dark haired pretty girl looked so happy. She was moving around Him like a bee to a colorful flower in the warmth of the afternoon. He motioned me to come in, with a gesture to his side as he sat on this wagon like couch. I saw a bowl of water, but I wasn't sure if I should touch it. He wanted me there, and even if it was a just a bowl, I think He could have drowned me in it. I wanted to wash my feet and hands before I walked in. It seemed..like the right things to do. I knelt. Me...kneeling. Kneeling before an Outlaw. We spoke a bit, I finally looked Him over. Someone colored all over His face. But not in a pretty way, it was like a artist bladed brush just slapped on a few strokes across His cheeks in lines! A little red here, blue there, black here, and yellow there. I licked my thumb and just wanted to rub them off. Then I stopped myself as I lifted my hand up to clean it, as if he was Von with a smudge on his face. When He acted shocked as if He didn't know He had them on His face, I almost believed Him. Jerk. No, say it right Red. Master Jerk. The word Master was still a tangle at my tongue to come out naturally. He told me and the pretty dark haired girl about them. They were story lines. They told of honor, adventure, and His path of life. I guess I didn't notice them on the others, cause I was to busy sucking water and making bubbles earlier. I asked if the women had them, cause them stealing women would make so much sense to me then, I had a feeling if they had them, it wasn't...pretty. Ah, He said no. The pretty girl had brought Him milk. He wanted fresh milk. I think He would have liked Blushes. So I am left to thinking they just get a thrill out of stealing. I suppose that is what Outlaws do. No honor in stealing, not like being stolen during war. Father did warn us of that when we were younger. There is honor in being a prize, but its a fate we would have to decide. I think it was a talk perhaps our Mother should give, but since she wasn't there, he did so, that simply and with so much discomfort. Only when I was older, I thought how brave he was, to have to warn his daughters of this. I didn't feel like a prize. I felt stolen still. He looked very tired. I was shocked when He chained me. I didn't see the point of this. He asked if He could trust me..... of course, my dagger was stolen! Didn't seem to be much of much in pointing out, He left me chained. He had given me the rest of milk He didn't drink. I have never felt so strange, different, desiring the milk cause I was hungry, yet afraid of milk. Milk given to me from His hand, at my lips, as if a gift, that wasn't offered to my own hands, He was going to regulate my drinking. I didn't understand all these feelings. I drank, drank it all, and thanked Him. He explained to me, that they were not Outlaws, they were people of the Plains. These Tuchuk's. Wagon people. I knew stories of wagon people. I didn't know there were different kinds, I was told Tuchuk's were the biggest of them all. I asked if it was like the stories about Wagon people who raided Turia, burying all the male babies in the ground so they don't grow up to attack them? I never got a full yes or no on that, but I am going to find out.

He gave me a blanket. It was soft, and colorful. I wrapped it so tightly against my body. My shield. He just leaned back..and fell asleep. I looked over and the pretty dark hair girl was watching Him. We spoke for a bit, she was....nice. She spoke of all the kindness and protection He was giving me. Right now, wasn't quite seeing that, perhaps I would try tomorrow. I learned a few more things...

1. I can't move out of the wagon with the chain locked to my ankle.
2. He wasn't that scary with no water barrels close by.
3. The pretty dark hair girl was very smitten with Him.
4. The dates she gave me, had to be the best dates I have ever eaten.

I listened to them both sleep. Laying against the warm soft fur rugs on the floor, it was the best bedding I have had for hands. I felt sad. Sad Alvis wasn't curled at my feet. Sad I didn't have my stuffed sleen that was in my stolen pouch, cause I really wanted it right now. Sad I was chained to a wagon wall. In the same breath, as I closed my eyes, to cease the rest of this day...I was happy I was alive. I was happy this kind girl gave me dates. I was happy, though He was tired, He took the time, to talk to me. Maybe He wasn't so bad for a Jerk.

Outlaws!

It was hard to focus at first. All I wanted to do was backhand Honey who was thrown down beside me. She seemed excited. How dare she! She had not said one word to me. I could just see my fingers digging nails into that slender throat of hers and shaking it tight and hard. Then...this man who I was dropped before, just wasn't getting it! There is something wrong with these people. They don't get how things are suppose to be. I try to say, some kaiila jockey's up and stole my verr, and I hear talk of how He wants my verr over a slave. Heck, He could have Honey. I tell Him, they up and stole my sleen. He seems to be thinking about other things then my issues! I am guessing He is the one in charge seeing I demanded to see the head person around here. Where is the respect? When I heard the peck of hens, I saw he wasn't the only cock or vulo in the coop. We had another cock crowing and a couple hens. From the fingered grasped of my hair I am guessing they have very strange customs. He was all in my personal space pulling me closer. Now any other time, I might have interest for a man who seemed to like verr, good creatures they were, but I was getting the picture that perhaps, verr and bosk aside, I was neck deep in dung quicksand and sinking fast. I was pretty much informed, I would be lacking all my personal processions thought I offered a very gracious payout for a bit of cooperation. It was then, everything made sense. These were outlaws! The whole mass of wagons, people wanting keep what wasn't theirs, and not respecting the rights of a Northern woman! This just wasn't good at all. They had robbed me totally. I had considered stabbing this hands on man, but my dagger was gone. I was going to offer the feel of shear blades, but they were gone also. My keys....gone. Now I was being observed like an ewe up for barter.

I was shown very clear communication cultural differences between a more civilized person like myself, and this outlaw man. If I didn't give him a good answer, the result was drowning. Bless Odin! Were these people raised by Bosk or wild sleen? So after a few near death experiences, I was starting to pick things up.

One - My freedom was stolen.
Two - He liked to pull hair.
Three - He has totally no respect for good velvet dresses.

Between this all, someone wanted to whip me, thought my remarkable skill in speaking was a nuisance and now was I not only the slave of an Outlaw, I was a naked slave of an Outlaw! Now, when He walked off I thought it was over. Again, the choices were not really choices. So I took my first step as...a slave named Red, following the Outlaw to His wagon.