Family?

My fingers felt like dried ta grapes by the time I was finished. I was happy to find Catch by the stream. There was a small gathering of Free, and He was there. Catch wasn't there, so jit see, jit do, and I found my way beside her. She smiled and it forced me to let my own just reflect back to her. I watched her by the water, and drank from the feel of her. I saw Him over there, its been the first time in a long time since I have seen Him. Like a Warrior from the stories of my past I was starting to think more of Him in my mind. Nothing I had been willing to accept..yet. Nothing I was willing to openly say I have let cross my thoughts. Catch kept Him a wonderful and alive story with the emotions that sprinkled like the warm summer rain across my skin with any simple mention of Him. I wanted a bit of that feeling. I wanted to rejoice and embrace that happiness that was as sweet and smooth as verr milk across thirsty craving lips.

I asked her...why she, we, were not by Him. The Bond's of home were bold and brazen enough to always be next to their Jarl's. Even at meals they would sit beside the men, with drapes of thrill and happiness at meals. Her Warrior was over there, and she was here. I didn't...get it. I wanted to go over there, but since my guiding light was here, it had to be the right thing to do. I wasn't even sure why I wanted to be there. I wanted to yell and scream at Him for making me a slave and leaving me to learn my slavery without His hand. I wanted to demand I be allowed back on my chain, where I was safe and I could learn His will. I wanted to tell Him I wanted to feel like Catch so fucking wave His hand and do whatever magic He done worked over on her! I wanted to see, if He would even speak to me. I wanted to try again, now. Now I wasn't so angry, but then again I was angry cause He wasn't there. Go figure. I was confused once more. I wanted to know, I wanted...His knowledge. So I told Catch we had to find out where we are suppose to be near Him. She took the brave step forward. I thought her a very beautiful shield. I knelt by Him, but not in the way of Catch. I almost wanted to reach out and hold her hand. Instead I got consumed by people not seeing my face. I totally missed what we had set out to do. I didn't snap my attention to hear and now, until He called me over. Oh sure, call me over while I'm ugly. It took a few tries, and I was twisting my hair back showing the lines of scratches across my neck, chest and shoulders, and the spotted bruises now at their glory of deep purple, blue and stains of brown considering to lighten to a gross sticky looking yellow that would be called a healing fade. For a moment, I wished for a nice touch, like I got this morning. I wished it from His hand. I got nothing. He had to go, and I just sunk back into the warmth of breathing in Catch again as people commented about the hues of my face in passing.

I was happy for our escape back towards the wagons. We were a bit naughty, I would like to say I made Catch a bit naughty, telling her stories about my Sister, as I showed how we use to sit, face to face, with our legs entwined at night, outside, watching the stars. For if we sat like that, there was no stars that would miss our vision. It was dark, we should be in the wagon, but I wanted this moment of grass blanket around our legs and the warmth of her, and me, watching the blessings of eternity above us. I shared about how Big Red use to say my freckles were burned marks of the stars along my flesh so that I would never be without them. It was so nice to share, before we had to go back. I liked this feeling of family. My new family. I had comfort with her. Perhaps not a sister of flesh like Big Red, but one of my soul. The part of my heart that beat with Big Red's in a special bind of twin love and connection, that stopped with her death, felt like it was warming up again. I was afraid to share this with Catch, cause I still wasn't sure of my fate. I couldn't survive if I was to lose another sister.

I wanted this...this family, now. This feeling and fate was nothing I ever heard in the story books read to me.