Dreaming of Hope

"Odin take me now!!!"

I just screamed out catching a mouthful of dust in the process, coughing, gagging and trying to roll out of the way to my feet before getting out of the way as the wagons were called to a stop for the 6th time in four hands. It was late in the night so they decided to just stop. The lying foolish merchant had been pushing the wagons far more driving ahn's then should be done. I didn't know much about moving wagons, but I did know bosk, and they were using Northern bosk to pull wagons. Our Bosk were a bit thicker, and heavy downed still. I could see them panting while pulling the wagons, and two had died already. Every time I heard a bellow I would try to lean over the railing and look out at the bosk suffering, it broke my heart. I just wasn't good at the leaning over the railing thing. I fell off once again, just missing being trampled and ran over by wheels. That was one thing I was getting good at. Not getting crushed, but not at the whole...don't fall thing. I had a huge bruise on my bottom. We had run out of water last night. I was thirsty for it, though I had mead. Which might be the reason I fell tonight. I think we were going to lose a few more bosk by tomorrow if we didn't find water soon. One of the guardsmen was complaining over needing Kaiila or Tarn's or something. We didn't have kaiila in the North, they wouldn't be able to handle our harsh winters and grounds all year round. Pretty useless. We needed to travel we sailed.

I walked over to the wagon, reaching up to let Alvis down so he could run and tend to his own sleen wilds. We had been on the trail for hands and its the first time I had noticed Lilly, Big Red's sleen. No wonder Alvis had been hanging on the platform he must have smelled her. Big Red walked up to me, blushing. Yes, please...Odin, don't make me have to sit and hear this! He wasn't so kind. She went on and on about sex, and how sweet the foolish lying merchant was. How wonderful our life would be when we got to Ar. How he felt he knew the right man for me. I just walked back in the wagon, it was safe now it wasn't moving. She was truly killing my Honey Buzz I had going from my mead dinner earlier. I started to undress, as the dress...was thick with dust. Slipping on the lightest one I had of a rich red velvet. I used oils to try to freshen myself as water was gone. I felt so dirty still. Cleaning my hands over and over again before we sat before my hope chest. I think this is the only moment we shared, was enjoying memories of the past to bring to the future. My Mother set up chest for both of us. To start to set up our homes when we companioned. I had woven sheets for the sleeping couch for my first night. I feel a dry heave almost touch as I looked over seeing Big Red blush when I pulled them out. I just didn't get the big deal over sex. I had no idea. Lay there, let a man heavy ho over you and if he does it right, a kid will come out of it. Fun. Big Red saw me roll my eyes as she gave me a pinch on the shoulder.

"One day, you will know love, and then..nothing else will matter Vivica"

Sure sure. I didn't comment, just shrugged. Pulling out a stuffed sleen, Mother made one for both of us out of leather and wool. Mine was black and Big Red's was White. We bought laughed remember how we would hide each others and make bets who would find theirs first. Small dresses, and slippers. Tiny golden bracelets, and tears touched my eyes when I saw Blushes must have slipped in the book, she use to read to me. The one with the blue leather binding had my favorite stories. Battles and wise common people. Morals, I liked stories with a lesson. Something that would enrich my life. I didn't let the tears drop, but just gloss over my gaze as I dried it with the flowing edge of my sleeve. Told myself, I wanted to learn its words. Something to look forward to. Not that I didn't know them by heart, but it would be nice to find comfort in seeing them jump at me other then in my mind. I could hold a story, against my chest, and teach my own children to write it's words. To much thinking again. Clear the mind Little Red, clear the mind. I laughed pulling out a dagger with a broken blade. Big Red couldn't help but smirk. We both said it at the same time.

"The first kiss!"

I spent the rest of the night giggling over stories and tales of our childhood. It was nice. Its been a long time since we had done that. Not since we were little girls. Me and Big Red are so different, but there was no doubt that we were twins. We shared something special. Because of her, perhaps there is hope for me. I will get some of her nurturing nature.