Oh

............Shit.

Seeing Red

Over the next few days, I found myself still angry. I was starting to build up a nice hard coating over my emotions. Fuck them all. I would do what I need to do. Find joy in my life, cause I was excited at one point though it was like some goal for another's happiness, but I was learning. Make a Fucker happy, and its no longer what He cares to be happy about. Devotion my ass. Yasmine even came to try to see me, and I just told her to leave me alone. I wanted no one right now. Nothing was real for a slave. I was learning. I sure was. Love...I took that by the neck and drowned in it dish water this morning while I scrubbed racks and pots of grease from cooking bosk. So I set forth towards the motions. Clean, kneel, clean, kneel, clean kneel, a tal here and a tal there. I can't remember ever being this angry. Not even when Von didn't see the new vulo chick and stepped on it as I was just getting him to walk towards me. That really pissed me off cause I had been calling him for many ehn's. Von just walked up to tell me he could some sweet sap tree by the far eastern outline of the farm. Just Oblivious of the little yellow wing that had just stopped flapping under his boot. This brought me to a little stand still as I was mending some wool socks. I haven't had those thoughts for a long time. For some reason the anger I had from seeing the cease of the little flap of wing under a boot, made me smile. Okay maybe being angry was overrated. It means I care, and right now, just not wanting to care much at all.

So yes, I will be happy. So in this search of self happiness, what would make me happy? Red, yes, I like the color red. I hoped my name would be changed. He, that evil man from the life of my first collar called me Red. I just didn't want it anymore. So what did I want to consider myself being? Vivica was gone, Red sucked, I would call myself....um. Damn. Red keeps coming to mind. I would have to think about this more so I had some good suggestions when Master Two came around. So, for now, Red would be the thought of the day. You know, these wool socks would look nice with some color. I asked the girl..Kassomething where some red dye is. She simply said there are other things I could be doing. She needed help with filling water barrel. Sure, I will be right on that. I took a bucket and she seemed to smile, before heading to the stream with a few of them. I didn't follow but as long as she thought I was, that worked for now. I wanted red dye. I put the pairs of woolen socks in the bucket, and filled it with enough water from the barrel to make sure all the socks were fully coated. I went through a few wagons, and just couldn't find anything. I found myself getting very frustrated. Not at not finding any dye, but at everything. I didn't like being a slave anymore, but I still liked living. I didn't think some Northern girl with a temper would be found useful free here, not that I would ever consider anything happening of that sort. No one was making me feel very slavish, as collar wasn't doing it, being fucked, it was a moment. One that still haunted me a bit, as my body was still feeling just a pull of its first embrace. I was so confused. Confused, Confused, Confused.

Not sure what wagon I was in when I finally looked around. Though, what I found on the counter, cried...Dye. Red, Yellow, Blue and Black. They were pretty. Like the colors that the men wore around here. I wondered why He had them in this wagon. I took the red and poured it in the bucket. I watched the water instantly turn into blood. Its hue was amazing. I walked out with the bucket and let it set for some time, before, I would use a stick to bring them out and rinse them. Hanging the socks up to dry, they were vivid. For a moment I felt very proud. I saw Master two walk up a bit later, as I was working on laying out some stream stalks I had dyed red also, for baskets. Made me miss the Vulo. He looked at the dried socks on the line, then red weaving grass, finally to me, to the empty bowl in his hand which I recognized, and to me again. He was quick for as big as He was. Fingers grasped my throat tightly, I felt air starting to hiss away from my lungs and every digit of His hand as I attempted to swallow another breath. The haze of darkness started to blur my vision when I felt nothing but ground as I was dropped, and my body screaming for air with deep heaves. I was still collecting my thoughts. When collar dropped to the ground before me. He didn't bother to pick it up before dragging me off by the hair. I had no idea what was going on, and struggled to keep up with His stride.

There was a voice that cute the dramatic silence I felt in the dusted path of pending doom, which I could only imagine. It was enough to make Him stop. Toss. Talk. Then walk off. And I, peeling myself from ground saw nothing but...another set of boots before me.

Going....Home.

"Love doesn't hide. It stays and fights. It goes the distance, that's why love is so strong. So it can carry you all the way home"
~Original author unknown.

I washed up, which was hard as my body was still on edge and now was aching. It was a different kind of ache, one of wanting more another of wanted a moment to rest. I think I blushed the whole time. Trying to get home felt like the longest walk of my life, but one filled with a thrill beyond words. I wanted to tell Him I did what was expected! I did Master! I was smiling like a fool. Oh I wanted Him proud of me! I had obeyed! I wanted this to make Him smile, at me.

He wasn't there when I arrived, but I was so happy. I found a rich pure longing to see Him. I wish Catch was there, I couldn't wait to tell her. So I was left to tell the Vulo's. Which was fine, I had become fond of the Vulo's. Cleaning out their wagon, feeding them, leaving out water, and then a pleasure in washing up again!

He still wasn't home. That was fine, because I was exhausted. I laid in the make shift slave spot that Catch created in the supply wagon. The feel of furs around my body was welcomed. I had little pebble bruises on my knees, and tender spots on my shoulders and elbows. Not to mention the endless throbbing deep down between my tender thighs. Even my breast hurt, in a tingle that wouldn't cease. It didn't take long for the slumber to cover me in a loving blanket of darkness.

It was late before I finally found the strength to step out of the wagon. I was still feeling very exhausted and for some reason, rest didn't make me feel better, it made things worse. I felt like someone had taking a fist to every part of my body. Though, I was wearing a warm smile against my lips. I think I could handle these kinds of beatings. Giggling to myself, I washed my face and started towards the wagon fires to see if Catch had anything cooking. I saw Him coming from the wagon! I about jumped out of my skin I was so excited. I would get to tell, I would get to tell, I would get to tell! I took a few deep breaths to stop the tears. Slavery had made me an emotional mess. I don't think I have ever cried so much in my life.

I never got past "Tal Master" for He told me stand, and the bells were removed. I felt my heart just jump around endlessly with it. Yes! YES! He found me worthy for bell removal! Yay! I was trembling, a few tears moistened my lashes, I know my green eyes were glossed, for my vision was becoming slightly hazed. I was looking towards Him, and the stirring in the pit of my stomach said, something isn't right here Red. He spoke before I could ask to.

"You now belong to Ayguili, go to his wagons"

Was He fucking serious? He just walked off to the fires and checked the cooking pots. It was over. Simple. Done with. I don't think I have ever had a feeling so close to hate in my life, as I did at that moment. My hand dropped down to my hip for something that hadn't been there in a very long time. I just turned and started walking through the rows of wagons. Not really towards my new Master's wagon, but around everyone closes to His. I spent the time Hating. How dare He collar me. How dare Him rip the closest thing to a sister from my arms. How dare He offer me a hint of a path and when I step to it, fucking kick me over to the next one. How DARE He make me think I could believe in one person. HOW DARE HE make me want to believe. I hated Him. That no good cold river tharlorian's ASS.

By the time I got to my new home, it was far into the night. I had no idea if He was there. I just sat on His wagon steps, fuming. I spoke to no one. I didn't bother to look at anyone. Until morning came and He was there, with a snap of fingers bringing me back to the here and now. I don't think I got any sleep, I was tired, weak, my heart hurt, angry for it hurting, and He, my new Master, had the fucking nerve to be kind.

He spoke to me. I wasn't sure of what. I could hear tones, see His lips move as I knelt before Him. My collar was removed, and a new one rested on the weight of my shoulders and soul. My second one. He touched my face lightly, brushing away my tears, He spoke again. Before walking off. Leaving me there, wrapped up in my self pity of being a thrown back slave, and trying to harden my heart.

I got up, and just went to go get dung with His other girls.

Flesh

Touch, how does one try to explain touch fully? Not so much the act, flesh touching flesh, but the reaction, which is to Feel. Even the act of feeling is hard also, as once the touch happens, feelings rise, and the grasp of emotions, visions and aromas explode around you. Its like a heighten of layers being fed into a fire that is going to take the final bit of fuel and give a burst of radiance.

And that is just caressing the surface of the, Touch.

The first touch was an outline of breast. It was warm, smooth, and the reactions were like pleasured pin pricks that started along the curve of my breast and centered at the peaks of very firmed nipples that were so constant as much as its feel if pain, would react with Ouch, the sounds that started to smolder from my chest, in a looped run between my thighs, along the tips of my toes before a shot up across my throat to the wet tease of my tongue was a moan.

This was different then healing hands that had totally awakened and stirred, it was fingers so gentle and gliding, skilled lips and feminine grace that felt so taboo, and yet, I touched back, cause, it was soft and sweet like warm fresh taffy you know will melt softly against the heat of your mouth, and its flavor linger long after its gone.

Lost in waves of that like the stream that was licking its wet coolness against my toes, there was a feeling of another. His scent of demand, was intoxicating, one I found I enjoyed when around Master's that carried it. Like warm mead coating the throat, this scent wrapped its phantom fingers along every inch of flesh, before it stared to twist inside. My Master had this scent, though His wasn't the same, no ones was the same, but its feel was a bit more of a prickle, but the teased feel now, made me think of Him. Do as told, demanded wants of Men, Oh my Master, please let this be what makes You proud! It was a feel inside, not just of flesh, but if His words swirling, for wasn't it by the waters He said this? Here I was for filling it. Or so I hoped.

Hope was something that popped like a bubble of thought when I felt mouth find places only one other had dared taste. It was something beyond the first time. It was a tongue feeding upon every delicate throb of raw desire, but motions were being forced by the sound of bodies in union, and scents of sex were lacing the air, and breathed in with every gasp. Moans were a tickle to heighten, that was like a divine bath of thick fresh dark honey being drizzled across my flesh.

The ahn's were rolling across my flesh, lifted higher and higher, tender feel of body beside me helped me feel secure. Was this another moment, a dead voice haunted me with be well's that even I wasn't sure if it had really crossed my mind when His words were throbbing deeply against my skin. It was when even I could smell the trickle of copper between my thighs at the tight demand that was a pull of my guts, and deafening drum of heart. Tears salted my cheeks, thighs were burning, and each motion was a thrust of flesh being formed across thickness. It hurt, it was amazing, searing of passion being birthed within. I finally understood, yet was clouded by questions shoved to the side with every motion of my body reacting, with sweet nectar that made the second lesson one pushing the first further.

Gentle left after a few times of finding myself soaring in the clouds, sore seemed to be just an added feel to what was being mixed deep inside of me. I was grounded well, when I found myself grasped and pressed with a turn of breast crushed into the ground. Grass, smalls stones the rich aroma of dirt was nice. For the honey laced everything. The savage demand was taken, it scared me at first, I was afraid, the feel of hands, on me, taking, just taking whatever He wish. What was there to be taken. Its sensations were different, raw, primal, fear lingered but I found a pleasure in it.

Even when the thick flow of wetness was well coating my inner thighs, did He not release the feel of Him inside of me. We spoke, He touched, I was worn, but the feel of His thigh, wet, hot, muscled on the back of mine as I was pulled up, was a surprise as my body would, even in its weakened gasping state, brush with a grind of hips, as it was firmly keeping us, still one.

I couldn't help but cry, still. I had never known, anything like this. I was afraid to dress when He did. I took a few ehns, to just learn to breath again.

Sweet Dreams

Turn the lights on

Every night I rush to my bed
With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you
When I close my eyes I'm going out of my head
Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hands and be my guide?


Clouds filled with stars cover the skies
And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby
What kinda dream is this?


You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)


Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true
(Turn the lights on)


My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air
'Cause you're my


You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)


I mention you when I say my prayers
I wrap you around all of my thoughts
Boy you're my temporary high


I wish that when I wake up you're there
To wrap your arms around me for real
And tell me you'll stay by side


Clouds filled with stars cover the skies
And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby
What kinda dream is this?


You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)


Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true
(Turn the lights on)


My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air
'Cause you're my


You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)


Tattoo your name across my heart so it will remain
Not even death can make us part
What kind of dream is this?


You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)


Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true
(Turn the lights on)


My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air
'Cause you're my


You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you



-Beyonce

Bitch's Please. I am so throught with it.

I struggled the whole walk back to my Master's wagons. I could feel this sticky dampness forming against my inner thighs again, the tingle of my breast, so free in the air. I was naked, yet fully dressed in bells and collar. Every smooth chime of my bells sent this jolt of succulent warmth so deep it was like a flow of my own blood traveling around my toes, finger tips and even to my lips. I took tingled breaths. Looking up to the Sky I wondered how it was I slept so long. It was bright, a flush of white, grey, orange, brown and yellow demanding I focus to the day. I would have to tell Catch I'm sorry, for by this time dung collecting was long over, and it was bad enough she had triple duty, but today, I had no doubt she would have taken up with me not being...there in flesh.


It was like the longest path ever walked, pressing fingers against the middle of steps, leaning into them to find balance. How was I to make it throughout the day like this? I was afraid to blink. For every bit of darkness was a spastic rush of remembrance. Moist forehead was touched by fingers, but not my own, quivering before pressing down against the layered edges of incline. Had I just lost all my strength to keep fighting this? It was a touch. Sound, echoed over and over again, as the touch went to my shoulders, turning me over, and I held fingers against my breast, heart, oh fuck, what was going on? I still heard it, lifted joy, was I moving? Dancing? Fingers entwined in my own, they were soft, and slender, tight in a twist of my body swung around with a release finding me a tumble against the chilled grass under the wagon. I just wanted to lay there, suckling the sweet air, closing my eyes, I could have just fallen into another slumber. No, I was moving. Blades of grass were running around my hips as a grasp pulled me back out of shadows by the sensitive flare of feel tight on my ankles again. There was light, trying to pry a hand off myself to shield my eyes, as my flesh wanted darkness. I felt the fall of another body against me, leaving me breathless, cause, damn she was heavy. Popping a playful kiss on my forehead with a giggle.

Tell me all about it, tell me! I know the looook tell me, you wicked little secret keeping slut!

Pushing up by my elbows, Yasmine did snap me out of the moment. I was thankful. I was. I could finally breath. It was a story to tell, though she was just as thrilled over the lack of completely being taken. Just pulling me to my feet she walked around me, reaching out to touch a nail against my hip, then thigh, breast, and shoulder. Jumping up and down to ask me if I felt the change...

Change?

Yes, the change in the way I moved. The way I would give a sultry roll of hips instead of just a sudden jot of movement out of the way. The way I leaned into it, before brushing back with a flexed stretch of flesh. I felt it. I saw it in a vision of myself. I wanted to run to Him, show Him, beg Him to touch my breast! Touch my hair, touch me anywhere and I will be Your slave to please! I wanted to tell Him, it wasn't my virginity of flesh that was broken it was my virgin mind. My virgin spirit. It was transformed. I wanted to learn it!

Look Master, I can be a sensual slut too!

Now I needed to paint my mind, needs, the story of Red, with His name before every word of the tale. I could do this! If this was all it took, then I would have this slave thing down, with a kiss, lick, fuck and a smile.

Pity what things one learns, from being wrong again.

It started with a question. I was at the stream filling botas, more like I had filled botas, and I was sitting in the stream waist deep in the heated afternoon, feeling how the waves were waking up my new skin. Cooling this Red girl down. It was nice. A sound of steps, I was thrilled. Master's friend was here, goodie! I would show Mistress my new skin! I got up, walking to where I left the basket from picking berries with Yasmine earlier, slipping on the newly shaped ebon shift, not to be flashing my naked flesh before the Mistress. She didn't need to know all my discoveries. Taking a bowl out of my basket I would offer berries to the Mistress once I settled to my kneel near Her. Mistress Mezoo arrived! This was turning out to be a great day! Mistress brought upon so much color in my life, I was thankful and wanting of more each time we meet.

Mistress Cana broke my dreamy thoughts with a question. I could handle questions. The new and improving Red, armed with her Master's gift of reincarnation, was ready! Heck yeah! Lets do this!

"One thing, one answer. What is most important to you"

Wow! I know this one, it was started with a sudden burst of emotion. It was like I had wished on every falling star that ever crossed the Sky that I would be asked that. I felt the words as I spoke them. They were my dream, my goals, my new life.

"To let my actions show, how much I honor my Master"

Zing, Zing, Ding, Ding, and the slave goes in for the home stretch of the race to salvation!

Ping.

WRONG.

Huhhuh say what?

"The most important thing in the core of everyone, whether they are free or slave, is survival."

Then she asked if I agree with that. If I thought that, I would have said it first You narrow, Free minded, moody Wench. Now I wanted to say that, but I just stated, I didn't agree.

"You do not think living is important?"

"It only is, if its for His will, Mistress. If I was told not to move, cause of wager of men and I died in not moving, then I died for His honor and not my own instinct to duck Mistress. "

In other words, just rewording in a simpler way for the Mistress to understand what I said in the first place! Thinking, maybe hoping that would be the end of it, until the Mistress said I wasn't being honest! I damn near freaked out, saying I was lying, restating my views were different now, then a couple days ago, but no, the wild river tharlorian bitch took a hold of my hair and put a quiva to my throat! It seemed like an obvious point being made, as all I could think of is...Master would not like this. This was His friend, and again I was making Her angry it seemed. Oh fuck, my Master is not going to be happy, No no no, I was doing so good, please don't let my Master see this!

Then She just had to ask....

"Now tell me, what was your first thought just now?"

"Master is going to be unhappy with me"

I was crying. Just wanted to run to find my Master and beg Him to forgive me, for making this Mistress unhappy. I didn't want to do wrong again! So sooooooon! I just wanted to scream. Master, I am trying, Master, I am! I could feel the emotions thick in a lump of my throat with my tears press the already marked line of cut that was placed there. One of those painful layering of skin that one might get from reaching in a crate they didn't know the blade was in and getting their finger, but this, was a line of my throat, and it was throbbing as fast as my heart. As I felt her fingers press it in more, and the warmth of blood was like copper and chilli peppers of scents filling my senses.

"That is a very self-serving answer slave. You expect me to believe, that even for the briefest moment, the thought did not flit across your mind, that you did not want to die?"

"It was more of a given Mistress, though Master was my first thought, cause death doesn't scare me, its a part of life, one more real for me as a slave, but His anger was first, cause You have no idea what I have gone through the last day Mistress."

I was saying the same thing over and over again. She wouldn't get it, She let me know She didn't care what I had gone through. That alone told me no matter how much I tried to let Her know the same thing over and over again...THE TRUTH...She would never understand. Mistresses are selfish. I was one of them. I was glad that selfish woman died. They can't see into our eyes. They can't feel what we do. I had been feeling an ache of it when my one safe zone was ignoring that this crazy bitch wanted to kill me. Mistress Mezoo had not said a thing, until now, and it meant...nothing. I was going to die, and all I guess She would see was how neat the pretty red steps of her boots would look against the green grass as She left to do whatever, after this Mistress killed me. I felt, alone there. I wanted my Master so badly. The one I thought I was safe with and who felt every bit of me, showing me, my slavery. I was nothing when others were around. Soon to be nothing but flesh paint on the hands of some insane fingers.

"I'd wager it was a good second thought"

Was all She said. Well, fuck You very much Mistress. She took Her paint early. Nice. She was wrong too, but I wouldn't say so. My second thought was some sleen bitch mean Mistress would be getting to pickle my eyes soon enough. I was felt sick. Sick with this lesson in life. I didn't try to be Red again. I didn't. I was just, some slave. Some slave, whose flesh was nothing, mind was nothing, and who was not more then some drone to please the Free who wanted nothing more then to get reminded who was in charge. Them. Cause I knew.

"I want an honest answer. Do you want to survive out here?"

"Yes, Mistress, I do want to survive."

Then the Slave would answer with a few more sprinkles of "Yes, Mistress" in Her self idolizing rants of greatness and knowledge, while Red cried and felt her heart twist under barbs of bladed wire, that they would say to her Master, she lied. That They would tell her Master only what They wanted to. And the reality of it all.

What they had to say would be the only thing that mattered.

I would pray to find my Master first. To tell Him everything. How sorry I was to upset Her, that I wasn't sure if I should....really lie. I didn't want to, I felt it wrong, I wanted to please Him. She was His friend and I wanted to please Her, but I saw I couldn't. To tell Him, how sorry I was. How much I didn't want to be.....So Sorry.

My last event was of the night was.

Shedding my trust skin.

I saw right now, the only one I could trust was my Master. Everything He said, happened. Everything He demanded would be done. There was no question with Him. What I saw is what was there. What words spoken, were never twisted or meant anything but what He expected from me. This is what I knew so far. Fuck the rest, they would get THE SLAVE, if that is what pleased them. Master owned all of Red.

A slave.

"So you want to learn touch?"

It was said in a way that no answer was expected. A question thrown out not to be completed...at least by me. I felt a shiver just start to snake its way across my spine. He motioned me to stand, which I did, quickly. The soft cross of arms were low in a twisted little fingers hooking together across my stomach, as I held still feeling the bit of slave rag I had been wearing that day removed from my hips. I was nude. Before a man who was not my Master. Why did this feel so....taboo? I think my thoughts showed as I uncurled the fingers not touched out into a mock fan lowered to try to keep my modesty from eyes. This time He didn't laugh, His grin was, mischievous. He seemed to be....sizing me up. My skin started to pimple up in texture feeling cold, bare and exposed.

His fingers were warm, against my chin being drawn up under the feel of pressure. I felt my body resist only slightly though honestly I wanted to obey. I could feel the heated breaths He was exhaling against my lips, making me breath in the essence of Him. It was hot, moist and yet, cool when I let my lips part slightly to suckle in the breaths to taste them. Like frost on a day where the humidity was causing skin to sweat freely. I was lost in His eyes. They were seeking, not just looking at me. I felt an electrical prickle at the way His eyes were twisting into my mind. It made the words He spoke echo, like a banging of drums swallowed down my throat as the vibration pushed down to my heart.

"Tell me what touch you crave right now"

The feeling that came forth with that would proceed words. It was a craving, like when one sees something golden and warm, and wants to taste the feel of honey drizzled against the white core of freshly baked bread. You know the flavor by heart and the desire of it wouldn't be sated until you had it. I felt that, just then. I had to have it. A buzzing at my ears almost let my mind form visions of bees around His eyes that I was lost in. Yes, they were like rich wild honey. Running the wet of my tongue against the roof of my mouth as I swallowed as if it was truly there.

"A kiss....Master. Just a kiss"

With that, I felt the softness of darkness overcome me. The scent of His arms and feel of muscles across my cheek with the bind of the cloth behind my head that blinded me. With a touch of fingers across my stomach I was pressed against a post of wood. I could feel the outline of every cut when the bark was removed. Metal that then locked to my wrist, shackles, links, I heard chains. I almost was sick with the comfort my mind seemed to wrap around in chains. Something screamed. It screamed in the back of my head.

STOP!

Wordless cries from somewhere. She begged me to stop. No, I can't. They make me safe. I feel them across my flesh, it was like water droplets touching raw fire, the searing of pleasure at skin. What was He doing? The voice was getting softer, she was hurting, crying. I was trying to hold my breath so He wouldn't hear me almost at a suffered pant. Touching me...was not just fingers. It was sharp edges that made my lips tremble. It was rope, knots pressed against my inner upper arms to keep them far above my head as in the darkness I could only envision me displayed out before eyes. Ankles were burning. Captured, pulled back as thighs spread with just a slight fight of weight now at the arms of my own balance.

Was I bleeding? The voice died deep inside of me. I knew the voice, it was Vivica, but she was gone. Sweat rolled in balls across the plains of my body that He touched. I knew she was gone when I felt a finger touch inside of me. Inside of the place I truly knew she was protecting. The finger toyed against the resistance there. It was like the tip had just been searching it. It was caressed, and tears rolled down my face. I waited for the fable of pain, but it didn't happen, He didn't take the last part of me, that I considered whole. Unbroken. It was brushed, in a daring tease, that kept making me gasp. The pressure was new, it was like fear of unknown. I was afraid to move, but I couldn't stop.

MASTER!

I screamed when I felt teeth clamp to a nipple. I was whimpering Master, Master, Master...over and over again. The stinging feel of flesh pulled to a harden peak was then overcome by a rush of warmth I didn't expect when I felt the roll of tongue stroke inside of His mouth. I didn't even notice He had pulled the finger out of me, when He bit me, but I did quickly notice where it was now when my other nipple was captured. He was toying with places only mint oil had ever teased. It was.....

AmaZinG.

The feel that swelled not only between the folds of my virgin flesh, but it ran from my toes all the way to my fingers and I trembled. The sound of chained links hitting against each other was this erotic mixture to where I couldn't imagine anything better until His mouth found the flesh right under my navel. The touch there....I never knew it to be so sensitive. I felt weight of thicker chains now draped around my shoulders so when I moved the links hit heavy against my breast. His mouth lowered, and I was afraid again. What was He doing? Why.....was He doing this to me?

Master, PLEASE!

By the time the last word hissed from my lips His had captured me. My mind was..soaring, my body rising up on wings of emotions, feelings, ecstasy. I wanted the SKY, I screamed for the SKY, it wouldn't stop, no, didn't want it to STOP! Chains were hurting....hurting so deliciously sweet, I tasted chocolate, with a honey center at my tongue, the smell was one of myself. I smelled my own pleasure, it was rich and thick. Feel of fleshed warmth lapping, then the graze of smooth pearls caused a warmth that made me cry out..

NO! NO NO PLEASE!

When He stopped.

I couldn't breath, my body was still a figure of wet flames, and I was thrusting my hips into air that only caused it to burn hotter. It was in the darkness, agony, did a chuckle break the gasp of my whimpers. One that was fading. He was walking out and each thick press of boots across the wooden wagon floors made my clit throb as if it was slapped.

I fell asleep sometime after that. I don't remember when. I don't even remember being released from the shackles that my wrist felt as if were still bound. I do remember waking up in a pool of chains and shivers. The touch of a slave kissing my lips, as she pulled away the blindfold and smiled to me as if she didn't care that I was shocked and amazed, and still so very confused at what my body was doing, or that it was still aching at this moment. She helped me up and it was a good twenty ehns of her soft touches, rubbing away the patterns the chains left on me from sleeping in the blanket of links before she spoke.

Did He give you everything you wanted?

I shook my head slowly as I was simmering in this need still that flared when she said it. I could feel her kiss still at my lips, her touches painted on my flesh.

He gave me nothing I wanted.

She kissed me again before helping me on my trembling feet.

I know, and wasn't it amazing?

Oh sweet Sky above....it was. My body desired, and I, did...also.

Feeling like...............

It was getting dark, and Master wants us back by dark. I had one more task to get finished. Mistress Mezoo had asked me to deliver a gift to a Healer Master, from the Ubar and Herself. I loved the smell of new leather, it was deep and soothing. It had the tang of the dried fruits and in another basket was meat, flour, and salts. I walked it over towards His wagon, for I was told to meet Him there this evening. He was busy earlier. He wasn't hard to find, it seemed many knew the healer which made sense to me. Plus I had a name to ask for. Mistress had been kind to me in this journey and I wasn't out to be messing up. The improved Red, was doing things with a smile and making sure they got done right!

I had time to ponder a few things as I sat on His wagon steps. I watched some slaves around the wagon tend to their evening duties and now and then look back to me with a smile. I didn't bother them, cause honestly they looked really busy. I felt a tad bit useless on the steps holding stuff, but I was going to make sure He got it. I wondered.....if His mood was a good one, would He help with my...sensual issues. He was a healer and all. Perhaps He could show me, what would be the proper reactions. It all made sense to me. I leaned my head against the saddle bags and fell asleep, lured by dreams of saddles, kaiila's and strong Masters riding naked on patrol. Naked on patrol. Oh goodness. I think the dream even shocked me while dreaming cause I sat up with a startle then screamed when I was face to face with all kinds of eyes, noses, scars and mouth.

The chuckle and the feel of hands on my shoulders calmed me as the Master said to be still, for He was enjoying watching me sleep. He hoped I didn't drool all over that fine looking leather. I was so embarrassed! Not only had I screamed all in his face, but fingers brushed my lips to see if there was any moist lines down the corners of my mouth. I was good, and he was laughing again seeing my sudden body check, and I swear I didn't have a freckle left on my face with how red I was feeling. Collecting my wits, I gathered the items, watching Him walk towards His fires and took a seat as the girls were around Him, serving Him. I kneeled close to the side, waiting for Him to finish His talk with both slaves, before they went back to what work they were doing. Finally He motioned me closer. Giving a little scoot closer, He seemed amused. Told me to go ahead and tell Him about what I had in my arms.

I told of the gifts from the Master Ubar and Mistress for the great care He gave to Mistress Cana. He seemed pleased taking the items and looking them over with pride. He said He would have to make sure to thank them for such gifts. He continued to stare at me, and honestly it was making me very nervous to ask my questions. I was trying to figure out a way to do so, when I jumped again with a little odd squealing noise when I felt Him touch my face. I swear I wanted to dig a hole in the ground under the fire as I watched Him lean back bellowing out in laughter that almost had Him fall over on the bucket He was sitting on. He made a very good call of judgement on me. He said I was very tense and wound up. Not to mention He bet not even a tarsk would sound better then the sound I just made. I could do nothing but agree. But I was being a little Warrior of a slave, and remembering I had the seal of my Master's good name on the cloaked skin of slavery I was wearing. I slowly breathed out the words of the question I had for Him.

"Master, I know Your a healer so I have no doubt Your good with Your hands, would You show me...How to enjoy having my breast touched? That way when another wishes to touch them, I might be found desirable? But in a sensual way, not all slutty Master. "

He just looked at me, and again, there went that laughter. Now I was feeling like a huge naive big red boob. For some reason, as He looked me over, His features changed slightly. His eyes glossed a hue darker as for the first time I noticed how light brown they had been, but...that was gone. His smile of humor turned into a smirk of, hunger. Lifting to His feet, I was looking to move out of His way as the shadow coated over me. He grasped my hair, and started to walk towards a wagon two wagons back from the one we had been sitting in front of. His two girls looked at me in almost an envious way. I wish I could have yelled out, come hurry, take my place! But that wasn't what the new and improved Red was going to do. I was stumbling to keep steps up with Him, as He had a very quick stride. The wagon was black inside, until after He released my hair, and let me fall to the ground, a few candles were lit. I could smell the fire, wax that was a simple scent of....dates. I looked around the wagon and there was a few post, a chair, a table, and lots of chains. There was a large counter beside this wooden base that just looked like a very high legged very narrow bench. For some reason all I thought about was, that wouldn't be very comfortable to sit upon.

He seemed to ignore me for now, and had the nerve...to be whistling. It wasn't a bad tune, it was rather one that was catchy and happy in this...odd wagon. I wondered what the girls I passed liked about it. It wasn't colorful. Though I had a side thought that some bright blue on those poles and maybe a hint of yellow on that narrow bench would work some wonders in here. Really pop out some life in this wagon.

When He turned and looked at me, with that same grin as by the fire....I never in my mind would have expected.....

A new shoulder to cry on.

I was on a mission. To find this large Tuchuk Master who likes to drink paga. My first instinct was to look for Catch, I wanted to say I was sorry. I was sorry I made Master angry. I'm sure that made her unhappy as much as Him, and I didn't want either unhappy with me. I did a walk by the wagons, fed the vulos, picked up some loose feathers of down that were floating around and placed them in a basket under the now coined Vulo wagon. I wondered if my Master would get another slave wagon for us. Even if we snuck to sleep in His, I figured the Mistress that was openly fond of Him would be moving in soon. I wanted to be shy of Her, cause only once when I offered to serve Her did She wish nothing from me, but glowed at the arrival of Catch, a while back. I wouldn't want shit from me either with the way I have been, I suppose. I would shrug that off, though it would remain a back of the head thought also, in polishing myself up, Slave wise.

So no Catch around, off to the central fires I went. I saw Him there when we crossed paths last. I needed to beg that lesson in Breast Love. I felt my heart drop some when I had toyed the thought of just kinda hitting up the first Master I saw downing some paga. I mean, maybe He might remember ever seeing me before, which probably would be the case, but seen one red head, seen them all right? Of course I have never seen anyone as speckled as me, but lets hope for blurred vision. I wanted this lesson badly. No Masters were there relaxing. Just the regular of some walking around, talking, working on Their wagons, but no one really around the base of circled furs. There was a slave girl, one I have never seen before. I was trying to get my wits together as I almost...ALMOST felt tears from not being able to find 'That' Master. It had been an exhausting day so far, and just late in the afternoon!

I was trying to get everything done at once. I needed to take a deep breath and relax. No hurry Red, let things happen as it would. I was starting to chill out a bit until the girl started to speak. It was clear she had been here awhile, seemed very seasoned as a slave, I almost was hopeful for kind guidance and a soft smile to help me out. Something like Catch would do. Not what I got. I started to tell what was plaguing me and it was like a pariah of an ending for my moment as the girl seemed to alter into this being of snappy judgement and feel of upper rule over me. It made me angry. Angrier when she went on about how she had the best Master on the plains, and how I had a Good Master, though it seemed He had a sorry excuse of a slave. Yup, that did it. I let all kinds of angry tones let her know if she talked about my Master's property like that again, it would be from a bloody lip! We did a few exchange of words, that ended with me throwing a rock right for that wiggling ass that walked off from me.

I stayed a bit longer. I finished shaking out and smoothing the sitting furs, then entertained myself with a camp girl who said her name was Leave. The name, puzzled me, but she seemed to love it. I did ask what was the story behind it, she said, she loved her Master. I said, really? She would just nod. I watched her as she wove a basket of long stream grass waiting for more. Seeing she wasn't going to give it, I said...Leave? She said...Yeah, He did, but I do love my new Master. I was...confused. So I said...what do you mean Leave? Seeing she was a camp slave and all, maybe it was the Ubar. She said...No, you can stay, thought you came over to learn how to make baskets. Okay....I saw where this was going. I thought I was going one up on her when I said simply....I don't want to leave, I want to stay. She got me. If you don't want to learn, then there is no reason to stay. I, smiled, and watched a bit longer, she let me pinch the edging, and then gave me a bundle to try to do myself before she had to...Leave.

I put the stalks to the side, figured I would work on them back at the wagon and would instead start to work on dough for bread later at the central fires. Still looking for the Paga Breast Master, as I would break after an ahn and eat a small bowl of some bosk strips as I sat on the supply wagon steps. The girl came back. The one I threw a rock at. This time...she was nice. So nice, and spoke of learning to fit in, I started to cry again. I didn't want her to see. I just kept my hair over my face, and my back towards her as we spoke. Her words were kind, and honest. They were true. She said its hard the first time. Just take a deep breath, be sensual, not slutty, and let the Master's do what they want to do. She came up to me and wanted to start over, telling me her name was Nakia, and she hugged me. She let me cry on her shoulder. It was nice to have someone catch me....when she wasn't there.

Falling out of the box.

I was before Him. Slave. No name, no acknowledge of being beyond Slave. The one thing I had missed in all of this. He allowed me to speak, beg, make promises not promised, but promised as much as I could with my last breath. I learned, even as I spoke. I had time to think, learn, hurt, and see. He listened. He answered. Again things I had so taken for granted. In the end, I was Red. Being Red never felt like such a gift as it did that moment. I was still His...for now. Pending feeling of, I had a lot of work to do, and I could only thank Him for the chance to do it. What a wonderful Master I had...no. What a wonderful Master I belonged to. I could tell from the smells of sharp green stalks of emotion, I wouldn't have been lucky with any other, but Him. For this, I couldn't thank Odin, He didn't live here. There was only Their devotions to the Sky. I was happy, She was above me for this. I kept...crying. I hate crying, but crying I did. It flowed like breaths of air. Breath, Weep, Breath, Tears, Breath, Swallow, Breath, Sniffle, Breath, Cry. I was so trying to stop. I was! It was a different flavor of Happy mixture of yellow sugar with a twist of tospit shame in self, but creamy like a new lesson thick and wonderful against the tongue. My tears were luke warm across my freckled face. This learned moment of emotions, like tospit custard. Its taste so different from the name, in a very pleasant way. His lesson. Get out of my box. I almost begged for a boot to help wedge my ass out of it. Or my head out of my ass. I think I would have really said it, but something told me....He would really do it. I wasn't looking to put grindy dust in my custard. Thank You, Master! I was tearing the box down, and its top was gone forever at the feeling...the burst of joy. Hot sticky sweet taffy melting at my tongue kinda feeling that makes you giggle as you try to work it down to a bead of ability to speak again. He...Master...He...Oh my fluttered heart! Said it sounded like the vulo's were well taken care of! Why did that statement, and not to me, per say, do this to me? There rolled a nice wet falling splash on grass. Baking custard with one of those crust that were buttery delicate.


I spoke with a Mistress for a while, from His side. She asked..about me. Being a slave. My feelings. Damn it all. Made my custard a bit more watery. Salty droplets dancing down. The Mistresses seemed to enjoy some water time. Making playful sexual innuendo's It was harmless, but wow, had me thinking from everything from long lances to tingled mint oil between my thighs. I had to ask. I waited until They, the Mistresses left, and spoke a few things on my mind. Master, I said don't touch, its not Yours to! He would speak to Him about that. He made it all clear. It didn't ruin my baked Custard of feeling, but it sure put in another. Find Him, beg Him to teach You to like the touch. Thoughts of splintered railing was clouding the thought of being taught. Sex? Of course, if it is desired by whomever wishes it. He left, I watched Him go. Its not about giving, its about..it just being taken. I, was, scared of myself again.

Learning...to leave myself behind

Close your eyes and look at everything around you. Do you not see the
creases of palms extended out around you? Some large, some small, some
soft and delicate and others with coarse edges of history written on
finger tips. Each one, hand after hand with just the first of knuckles
bent ready to hold anything placed upon its dipped palm. What will you put
there? A bit of flesh? A bit of spirit? The core of soul? Or will it be
the vibrations of heart in one and the sleepers slack of flesh draped
across the other? Tell me what will you do with all these hands?


Eyes open and logic locked away did you see one hands fingers spread free?
Did you see the flow of pride slip between the fingers like droplets of
gold? Hitting the ground like diamond chips so frail the shattered in
glittered dust around feet that would be cut at a step of its pain of
losing such? Blood streams heated in disappointment followed as you beg to
sweep it in the brush of hair as You beg to feel the cup of fingers again?
You see that its not their blood you clean but your own, and it scares
you. You scream and curl back into brick walls made of crystal and a roof
of glass.


Close your eyes to realize that those hands are still there. Empty they
are weighted down and tired. Will you offer something to bring back their
strength? Did you notice feet made of stone not moving, never moving,
planted firm like the three of knowledge and eternal life. Did you see
there is no lock on the glass roof you always look out of and the beauty
outside of those perfection of crystal walls? You don't have to do
anything but stand, and take one of those hands. Some are aging, but yet
not moving, like mountains of love with gifted belief in you. Why have you
not shown them?


Eyes open and you scream. You see the muck of oiled claws leaving dirty
gashes around your arm when you reach out. Just a quick lifted lid of
clear light steel of self worth that you just can't lift. What hurts you
so? Do you not notice blacken talons of your own hand? Drowning from the
cup you fill just to allow the bottomless base tell you its not enough.
Losing self in others ideas that mean nothing to you. Laugh at self
destruction of melting pride as if it will be formed again under the heat.
Weep at your own art, that you continue to hang in the corners of your
cell.


Close your eyes seeing the reality of small voices vengeance only burning
acid words of what you taught them. Stand up you scream as muscles ache in
flex and you take the first hand beside you. The box turned into
shimmering sand that was cool and nice against your feet. It hurt, to
speak with skin peeled away by a blade taken for a still up turn palm.
They had all the tools to find yourself, if you wished to use them. For
your touch can only find the real person inside. They are there. Only now,
do I see.

Conversation with myself-2009

Please Master I won't fail again.

I spent a few days loathing in a huge ball of self pity. I felt alone, and reached out to those who really had forgotten or decided to forget what its like to be unsure. Yasmine and Selene are like a pit of boiling water all the time that just need any bit of meat to make succulent treat to bring pleasures of Mmmmm. I guess I never looked into the bliss of their world. Or the simple meanings. I know how they are, so not sure what I was really thinking. Its my own naive hopes thinking they might bend a little to work with me, and not work me into them for their own pleasure. I was just like them, but in a different way. I used them to feed into some need of mine just as they did me. So when I went to them to tell them what I did, and how to fix it, lets just say, my face had stupid painted all across it. It breaks down to this.

Ask a whore a question. You will get a whores answer.

Duh. I didn't want that answer. It didn't help. It has nothing really to do with me. Just them. It just showed me more how ignorant I am. How I knew better then to go to those who really didn't sparkle on my side of the stars. I got a very long lecture on how to please a man, which meant nothing to me, but words. It was an outside the flesh fix, when it was my inner pain that I couldn't find a bandage for. I should have gone to Catch. For I had her, inside. I never really thought of it until it was a flash back of just one night, one talk, though I acted out in my own fury, she had really touched me deep under all this freckled flesh. I wish I had taken a moment to swallow my pride and found her. I was ashamed she knew what I did. She saw it. How I was so stupid. Had she not pointed out the very first day, the obvious? Look at everything Master gave me. Be grateful. Be honored. He chose to give me this. Wasn't it everyday I wished for those chains back? Even if it wasn't a full thought that formed, it was a feeling every time I thought of Him. He kept me safe, just by letting me be there. Why was I seeing this now? Why was it now, after I had made all the wrong turns cause I let my own selfish rage explode to make me run to those who...I knew wouldn't help. Who would just give me another blanket feeling that fed into my pity. Pity of me. Everything was at home, and I ran cause I didn't want to be healed, I wanted to sweat in nonsense.

I refused to see past the freckle on the tip of my nose. Everything I have learned, I have worked on. Meant...nothing. I had a moment to share this joy, and I wore a cloak of my own desire. Wants, and discarded without a second thought, gifts He has gave me. Were the bells not there because He placed them? Yes, they meant in general I couldn't be trusted, but was it not chimes that might be heard to see what I was doing, and where. Nothing heard, I must be doing.

Nothing.

I was no smarter then a chip of dung. Throw me to a fire to be found in use. Fuck. Then, I had the nerve, to thank Him with anger, and my thanks of self absorbed feelings. He was making it hard for me to like Him. Now if I had not named out every little thing I had done for me, and not spoken from my skin, my shallow mouth which said things off the cuff. If I had shut the fuck up and thought like He was giving me time to. None of that would have come out. Out before others to show them what a stupid little slave I was. To show Catch all her kindness had been...wasted. That I didn't hear a thing she said to me. If I would have just stayed where I was, and waited.

Why was I still here?

I hoped, Odin please, please, please, let Him find mercy where its not deserved. No, again that was selfishness. Please let Him decide if its deserved so that I can show, I'm really not as stupid as my actions say I am. The real me, is there, scared, but there. Please let mistake number...who knows far beyond the fingers of everyone in camp in numbers not be the last one. By the luck of a sleen's fifth legs left toe, let me be able to show Him, the real me.

Shattered....Confidence

I wish I was locked in tower so high into the clouds,
Nothing but my dreams to surround me,
Its there I feel safe and nothing to fear but my own creations,
Yet in that world of wishes I am very lonely.
I search for a meaning of life for myself,
Darkness is the shade of my sanctuary,
For its the dream land I feel safe within,
And I have brought the nightmares of my reality.
Make all the bad stuff in which I love disappear,
Once its gone will I be able to breath a new beginning,
Its I that feed into the hellish despair,
For without it I don't know if I will live,
I need pain to claw my lungs to breath again.
This agony is not of the flesh,
Its my soul I have given up so freely,
Why can't I seem to fight for myself?
My own fingers peel away my skin of safety.

Its like I am a tree of damnation's fears,
Nurtured by my own discrimination.
I hate those that love me without out a fear,
Or those that look past my sinful laws,
Why can't I love myself enough,
Look into the eyes of another?
They believe in this being whose flesh is flawed,
And a heart that somehow keeps beating.

I wish I could tear it from my chest,
Something I could truly feel,
Rip it apart and give away each piece,
I am tired of how it hurts me,
Let me be numb and try to kill,
Every past bit that haunts me.
All I can say is I am trying,
Every flaw seems to awakening,
I beg to be taking in a palm,
And taught the ways to make You happy.
I am not just a broken soul,
Just one that is bare and exposed,
Weeping to be healed and taken.

So I beg You please to understand,
I am a stupid bitch of emotions,
Please forgive me for I cry blood for my ills,
I have tears of regret for what I can't see,
Though my eyes are clearly open.
I feel like a child just learning again,
Trying to forget the past lessons learned,
I want to be reborn in this pleasure,
Of feeling Your bit of heart in return was earned.

Fucking.....UP

I played the words I said over and over in my head. What the fuck had I been thinking? I found myself lost in a moment of wanting to be at His side so badly I forgot everything I had learned since day one. I forgot I stuffed my bells cause I was ashamed of their reason of being there. I forgot that it His choice that I was there to begin with. I forgot the bliss of being at His side, touching His thigh, feeling like there was a place for me there. Might have been, until I opened my big ass mouth.

Your making it really hard for me to like You!

Oh fuck. If that wasn't bad enough, I had put layers of things I liked that were His, and yet...not Him. It was many things. I was jealous of Catch's joy. I wanted it. Wanted. I never asked what He wanted. I needed to learn to step outside the protective box I keep locking myself into. How can I accept and mold, much less grow if I don't take the lid off the box? When would I start being thankful? When it was too late? Perhaps it was too late.

Please don't be too late!

Everything was a haze at that point. I begged to stay, not be sold, I begged. Begged. Do what He says. Why was that so hard? I wanted to, yet I wanted. Wanted. To stay and make Him understand. Make. Again, Red, what a stupid selfish bitch of a slave you are. I can't make anyone do anything. I left, in tears. Right to His wagons. I cried in the supply wagon, before going out to feed the fires, check on the vulo, and get some meat boiling for stew.

I wasn't doing very well. I felt shame. I felt sorrow. I was swimming in both like deep waters I was kicking my feet along trying to find some hit of sand under the dark waves. Stop it Red. STOP!

Stop fucking sulking on the moment and work on doing what you should for the future. Fix it. Fix it if you have the heart and will to. If not, just take Him the fucking quiva, for my parts right now are more valuable then the whole.

That was a damn shame. SHAME.

I wanted to fix this. I did. I wanted to learn. I do. Listen, and learn. Watch and learn. Trust and learn. Devote and start to earn.

Please, allow me the chance to, show I'm worth the investment. Please.

Girls....Gone wild.

I was pretty tired by the time evening rolled around. But I was caught up! By the grace of Odin I finished everything. I felt...this relief from that. Not to mention after leaving some Tart's for my Master, I had an extra basket left. It seemed fitting, a little treat for me and the girls. I left a Tart wrapped up in a rep cloth and on the apron for Catch. I placed a pretty green ribbon around it. I just think green would look so good on Catch. She has such pretty flawless skin. I really did hope she would like the apron as much as I did. I would have to tell her they were gifts from the nice Mistress. I placed it where we had our stuff put up in the storage wagon, since the vulo's got our wagon now. I smiled at the thought of it. I wrapped my hair up in my colorful apron letting the ties dance around my head in a twisted bind cause I didn't look to see if the Magpie was around, cause I was to busy running out of dodge. It was late, so maybe it was sleeping. Who knew, but I wasn't taking any chances right now. Catch would be here soon, I know she had some extra people duties as of late, which made me a little sad, I haven't seen her around. I wasn't sure if Master would be in soon, but I made Him a plate just in case. I didn't want to run off and ...me and Catch not be here. I just put some bosk strips on a platter, a bota of water, and the basket of Tarts in His wagon by the sleeping furs, which I laid out the coverings and fluffed the newly stuffed down head cushions.

With that extra tart basket in hand, and just a bit of cloth wrap at my hips, cause I wanted to show off the art Mistress gave me, I even decorated it with a string of beads around my neck, I started towards the wagons of Yasmine's Master. I felt....weird. Not sure if I liked my breast exposed, or if I was forcing myself to like it. The beads made me more aware of it, as if the apron I was wearing earlier though just at my hips didn't cover my breast, but I felt like I was safe with the art. The beads made me more aware as they were not a part of my skin like the art was, they were...touching me. Over and over again as I moved. For the first time I paused, looking over my shoulder towards my Master's wagons. I wonder..if He would like the art. Oh. New thought...where did that come from? I blushed. It scared me. I blushed and ran. I was pretty breathless by the time I made it to the wagons. It was pretty quiet besides the giggling that was short and loud eruptions in the plains air. In the normal Tribe evening sounds. It made me want to giggle also. I walked up slowly, quietly placing the basket of Tarts to the side before suddenly jumping in the flaps and yelling "Sluts what is going on in here!" They jumped up so fast, I had to bust out laughing. Which was met by a tackle of the girls taking me to the temwood and fur carpeted floor. It was fun start. Tickles and giggles. Yasmine and Selene were pretty glossy eyed, and gave me kalana favored and scented kisses all over my cheeks while marveling over my art. Yasmine had more of a mischievous glint to hers when I walked back in from getting the Tarts off the platform. She said...she had something for me. Me? I was passing out the tarts to both as she handed a bota to me. Told me not to look, or smell, just drink! I wasn't very sure. She waved the bota around in front of me as I shoved the Tart in my mouth to show....mouth full, can't do it right now! Damn the tart was delicious. It had a rich yet buttery crust. I could taste the light tease dates and the mixture of ramberries bursting in my mouth. I was so lost in the tart moment as it was the first time I have had such a delightful treat since leaving the North when I felt fingers all over my jawline and a chant for me to chew faster and swallow! Now for some reason the word Swallow made them both fall over and giggle. Strange girls. They just teased me dancing around with the bota in hand. I was to scared to find out what they had. I was not! Standing up I took the bota out of Selene's hand who was just doing very naughty gyrating motions with it against her chest, popped the cork and took a deep drink!

Gag, Oh! Damn..Choke.

I showed them, and they showed me! I guess I didn't take a chance to let it just roll across my tongue to take in the flavor as the deep swallow hurt going down my throat. Though, it was a pleasant surprise indeed! It was mead! Thank you Odin! It had been so long since I had mead! The next drink was slow and enjoyed. It was strong, the rich honey coated my throat. They were cheering finally settling down to enjoy their tarts. Not sure how the ahn's went by, nor do I remember getting my fingers and toes painted. I don't remember falling asleep. It was the fall of a hand across my face, as Yasmine rolled over that woke me. My head was spinning. I picked up the bota, to take another drink, as it would help me get over the throbbing of my head. I knew that. I remembered that...and it was gone. Empty. My head was pounding and I still felt...drunk. My nails did look good, all thirty of them. I left the girls there sleeping, I had knots of ribbons all in my locks and my apron stuffed in the very empty tart basket. I had one of my hands grab the basket after fourth try. At this point, I just wanted to go home! I started towards the entrance, walking down the steps (okay I fell) I got up and started towards the wagons again. I think I figured it out after a normal fifteen ehn walk took me an ahn of wrong wagons, and finally hearing Yaz growl at my stumbles that knocked over a stack of buckets towards him under the wagon. I was giving my Sorry Sorry..as I just stopped on the steps of the slave wagon. Damn...Vulo's. That is right. I just stayed on the steps, laying my head back on the netting. Shit I was tired.

What a.....Tart

I woke up...grumpy. I tossed and turned all night, think I almost suffocated myself with how tight I wrap the blanket around me. So yes, I was up. Dung collected. Hanging it up on a peg. I was a day behind on laundry. I grabbed the basket and washing items I set out the night before. I had a goal, get this laundry finished, and I would be back on track. Yes. Goals Goals Goals. Exhaling I started towards the stream, washing myself up I then started on the Warriors leathers. It was going good, Yasmine came over wondering what happened to me yesterday, she had some color for nails her Master gifted her. She wanted to paint my nails red. He got it in a trade from another Warrior that found it in his Fathers storage wagon. Some raid goods. It was a bit dry from being old, but she added a few drops of paga and it was good as new. I promised her I would come look for her tonight. I really had to do this laundry done to get back on track! Damn. Did she not see I was stressing here? Her nails were very pretty. Very nice. I wanted red nails. Ugh! I said want. I need to stop wanting. Ut oh, I was thinking, stop Red!

Yasmine said she would make sure I kept my promise and come fetch me if she had to, before running off to find Selene. I think I scrubbed forever! Just worried I wouldn't clean the leathers good enough. Finally I was putting them out on drying racks when I felt something roll down my shoulder, across my arm and I captured it quickly at my finger tips. It about scared me thinking a weird bug was crawling all over me. Not that I'm scare of bugs, but I was just caught off guard. But, it was no bug, it was a ramberry. Out of habit, I looked up. As if the Sky had dropped it down on me. I heard a chuckle, a nice pleasant and very feminine one. I have to say, I was happy to see Mistress Mezoo. She let a curl of finger be my beckon to follow. Armed with my ramberry I followed quickly. Mistress looked like I felt! Hurried and had lots to do, on Her mind, or something! She placed a huge basket of beautiful plump ramberries in front of me. It seemed like one of the stories from my past as she announced...

Let there be Tarts!

What? Really? Seriously? Tarts? Oh. Not just Tarts it seemed, as names were rolling off Her tongue as simple as a breath being taken in, and released.

Let there be lots of Tarts!

Wow. So now I'm armed with Ramberries, A bag of floured ta sarna, yellow sugar, Eggs, Verr butter, some very rare date extract, and even some ground nuts, almost powered. Mistress shooed me off to go work some crazy magic. I had straps of baskets all over the place holding the goods, and Mistress said, "Wait! Stop! I would get my shift dirty. Take it off. "What? Nakie? I was about to debate, maybe it wasn't so much fear of nakie as it was...fuck what if Mistress was in art mode? Nakie meant a bigger canvas and if I'm to be making Tarts, I really didn't WANT to be in pain. Damn it! More selfish wants. No more selfish wants. I started to remove the layer of straps and took a deep breath. I twisted up the black shift and wrapped it around my long thick wily red locks to pull them back out of my face, like some scarf looking koora. Now, I was amazed I was pretty much as right as rain! But also very thrilled I was wrong. Yes, Mistress wanted color, but the color I was given was fun, sweetly stained marks of deep purple and red across my skin. Mistress gave me wings, I didn't see them on my back, but I felt them. I felt....free, beautiful, I loved it! Oh I thanked Mistress over and over again. She finished Her wish of design before letting me go off, with a ramberry shoved in my mouth. Now I was packed with ingredients, beauty and a mission. I was go to find a Mistress named Birmmah. With a sweet warning of Mistress being a bit...mean. Great! I felt like I was walking into the oven to be cooked myself instead of finding the Mistress with the best mud oven around to bake tarts.

I started along the wagons and it wasn't hard to find, Mistress said they would be near the edge of the outer and first wagons. I found the Mistress, as I lowered the baskets, the many baskets, to the ground and asked Mistress, if I may, please, use Her mud oven to make a zillion Tarts. I said Mistress Mezoo said She had the best mud oven around. She gave me a slight smile, it seemed forced. I felt...bad. I came with the mind set of this sleen bitch in heat Mistress, angry and ready to eat any slave, and what I saw was, a woman who smelled of pain and sorrow. Loss, and aching. That smell of dust in darkness, when you reach out and fingers touch nothing. The smell of fear in unknown. I wanted to weep for Her, but instead, I offered to bring a bit of sweetness. I showed the goods I had, and though I knew I could put it together myself...I asked for Her help. She said, first things first. She got me an apron. One woven in many different colors. She seemed to blush, Oh...Old lady blushing! Saying the colors matched the designs on my skin. It just was tied around my waist, and it was beautiful. I loved it! The first one I thought of was Catch, and told Her, my chain sister would love this apron. Catch was..so colorful, her feel, her smile. The Mistress chuckled getting bowls, water, and wooden spoons for us. We made the dough, then crushed the ramberries, most of them, a third set to the side for the tarts. We boiled, mixing them with sugar and sweet jellied fat. We both would break up dough and form it with our fingers, filling the center with the jelly, and then set whole ramberries on the top. They looked so delicious. Putting them in the mud oven for only three hands full of ehns. Once they were out, we let them cool, and just a bit of powered sugar sprinkled on top.

We cooked tarts for ahns. It was a lot of fun. I really didn't say much, but the Mistress spoke of all her sons. A few times tears formed, and slipped down her cheeks as she spoke of Mistress Cana, and the children. Again, I just listened. My mind would drift to my family, and I felt guilty for my own pain. Here I would miss them so much, because I knew where they were, this Mistress, had no idea where her first son was. She started to cry. Shit. I had no idea what to do! I didn't want to rub my naked all over Her to give Her a hug, instead, I handed Her a Tart, and told Her, She should see Mistress Mezoo, She was good with making puffy cheeks and eyes look pretty. Maybe some pretty tear drops, so they are there, created out of beauty and wouldn't seem so sad anymore.

The Mistress seemed to like that. So much so, She helped me put the Tarts in the baskets Mistress Mezoo gave me to drop off to the dozen of names she threw out at me. The Mistress wanted to make sure I left some with her son's children, and even her other Son's. I promised I would. I mean we had a zillion Tarts. Then, what She did next...was sweeter then a ramberry coated with honey and sprinkled with white sugar. She said I could keep the apron. She even folded up another that matched mine in design but the colors were brighter, for me to take to Catch. I thanked her so much and promised to come and check on Her! Maybe I could bring Catch, and show off our aprons! She said..not to forget a bit more clothing under them. It was my turn to blush. I gave be well's, and it was nice to see a smile form, naturally to Her weathered features.

I ran to leave a basket for Mistress Mezoo, before I took off for my deliveries.

-Mistress Mezoo had delicious golden edged Tarts filled with sweet Ramberry jelly and whole Ramberries on top delivered by the redheaded slave girl wearing only a colorful apron. She ran through the wagons making sure the baskets were left on platforms, covered with rep cloths as the Tarts were warm and freshly made, and gifted with love! Each Basket had a bright red silk ribbon, and she told any slaves around, if the Masters or Mistresses weren't, that they were gifts from Mistress, cause she wanted to make sure everyone had something warm and sweet to fill their mouths and tease the soul-