Whistle while you work...
Hack, wheeze, gasp, choke, blow...
Whistle while you work...
Blow, choke, gasp, wheeze, hack...
So that is how my song went today turning over the dry grass again in the vulo wagon. I thought I saw a vulo roll its eyes. I would also rotate the wax cones. I check over the netting, running my fingers over the twine and knots. I told myself I would go into Master's wagons to see if I can find some more bundles of rope and work on another net. I really enjoyed making it. More then I thought I would. I collected the loose down of feathers not used for the nesting or comfort for the vulo's themselves. I put it in a basket. I would make some fresh sleeping cushions for Master's bedding with them. One should re-stuff and redo them every season anyway. The oils from our skin and hair break down the lush fur and dampen the down naturally. It can be taken out and I will use the old feathers to mix with the dry grass for the vulo's when I do another cleaning. I was hoping Master wouldn't get to angry, but I took a blade and cut the leather on the side of the canvas. I would just make a nice "U" cut so I could roll up the piece and fasten it on top. Where it was open, I would put in some slender netting. For now, I would tie it down with a bit of leather straps and a few stitches. Air could get in from the sides where I slit until I could get the slender netting made. Just to make sure the vulo's wouldn't jump wagon and would become a magpie's meal. I washed up, as I always needed to after vulo duty. I walked into Master's wagon, just pulling up the flaps to air it out. Catch took care of it, it was always clean. I smiled seeing the colored shells in the basket. I would take off the small head cushions from His sleeping fur pile and I was enjoying the play of the blade, it had been a long time since I had cool metal in my hand. It wasn't a dagger or anything that would just bring chills of thrill in my spine. It was a scraping tool, so conviently sharpened. Cutting away the seams I would take out the old feathers. Filling another basket with it, I took the furs to add them to the wash I had still to do from the wagons of Masters. I gathered the leathers, washing soaps and brushes, and set them to the side. I would be back to finish those. I ran off to see Manga, tell Her I took the broth to the Mistress, and perhaps some more cause the Master watching Her, liked it too. Of course I told Manga, He was old like Her, maybe She could go take the broth herself and check Him out! Manga laughed shooing me away. Telling me to come back for the spices, she will get them together so I can make the broth later tonight. She has some fresh vulo coming in from a young Warrior later also.
I really wanted something else to wear, I liked the shift, but it was getting old. Still nice, but I wanted to try something...new. I wanted to be beautiful like other girls, I wanted a brand, I wanted a piercing. I wanted, I wanted...Want want want. Okay I see the issue. Once more, I was going about things the wrong way. I wanted to know what He wanted. Was this one of those obvious things? He is doing what He wants. He wants me in a shift, He wants me to learn. Was that it? Shit. I dont' know. So much thinking! What to do when I feel I'm thinking too much? Go serve, go cook something...do something! Off to the main fires I went! I get so confused. I needed someone...who wasn't a slave, to explain slavery to me. I couldn't even try to explain it to myself. Was I not once Free? Yes. I was lost in my wants back then. It seemed I wanted a lot now. What the fuck! Okay I'm just all confused.
I lost myself in serving. There was a nice gathering around the fires. Many talking, enjoying company and I just loved the voices and moments. I got a swat, a tug of hair, to serve, to laugh, was happy, confused, and thrilled. He was there. I offered to serve Him when I got the chance finally. Though I didn't get to close, cause...He was all upon the water barrel. Master + Water Barrel = Scary! There was a slave there that confused me. The Master suggested we learn together....seeing she was new also, maybe a bit more fresh then me, though I think I have some time served banked. She said if He wished it. Does that mean she didn't? I asked...but she didn't answer. I was, very disappointed. I couldn't wait to get to the wagons. I wanted to get to work. Cause my mind was twisted and confused again. My question trunk was all full and over flowing. I think that is why I dared to get close to Him..and the Water Barrel. I asked if I may go back to the wagon. He asked a question of what was more important then serving here at the fires. I had things to finish, but I explained them. He seemed to allow my reasons for my escape from my own mind and thoughts..again that day. I paused. Not sure why. I had to let Him know...I needed to talk to Him when there was a chance. He said I find Him, and......I would.
I think I ran all the way to the wagons. What was wrong with me? I get so damn confused. Jeeze I didn't even do the laundry. I had lost time. I would do the laundry first thing in the morning. But I did make sure to get those cushions washed, just in a bucket by the wagons. Scrubbing them out, brushing the fur then oiling it lightly inside to keep the skin soft. While I had water in a bucket, I would lay the cushions out to dry while I was searching for some rope. I found it and soaked it also. While I waited, I ran over to see Manga. She had broth going already, scolding me for being there so late. I told Her I was sorry, not sure...how I lost the time, but I did. Waving me off, She told me to go find time and my mind. She would take the broth over when it was finished. I felt bad, but She did gift me with a small smile, to show...She did want to see the Warrior I was talking about.
I ran again...seeking time and my mind as I worked. I got the cushions together stuffing them with the fresh down. Once I got the stitching finished I put them back on Master's furs. I repeated...If you wish Master. The same thing the girl said. It made no sense to me. If He didn't wish it, He wouldn't have mentioned it right? Did He not ask to get a personal answer? Or...was I wrong and that was the right answer? Shit, shit, shit. Stop thinking red. What would Big Red say? Oh she would tisk me for making something out of nothing. Why did I stress so? Maybe there are things not meant to be understood. Just go with the flow. Shit. Think of other things red! Rope, I needed to finish the rope. Making my way towards the basin, I would pull it out from the water. It was slender, and strong, the vulo Mistress told me to knot it wet, that way when it was set and drying it would tighten and lock the knot. I started to work on the square of knotted net. Just a small patch for the cut away leather I did. I took a thread and needle with me, and worked on stitching the net where I put the hole, that way the air could go in freely and no runners.
I was tired. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to stop thinking. Tomorrow would be a better day. It would be. Yes, it would be. Yes, yes, yes.
0 comments:
Post a Comment